OUTBREAK: ZERO is a semi post-apocalyptic pandemic roleplay set in the fictional city of Lethford, USA. Current season: Winter, 20/21.
March 2020. The world is in pandemonium as one month ago, GHNv-20 was confirmed, five months after the beginning of norovirus season. The number of the infected are in the higher hundred thousands, and the death toll is at an estimated 250,000, with about seventy percent of the rest of the population experiencing mild to moderate illnesses connected to the S. pyogenes bacteria.
The fear of the unknown has caused mass hysteria and panic.
In an attempt to provide a semblance of safety and control, military personnel patrol the streets, even here in Lethford City, and the police force is trying to keep up with the rising street violence, assault, and theft.
Welcome to OUTBREAK: zero. Will you survive?
HAYANA
SITE OWNER + HEAD ADMINISTRATOR
Hi! I'm Haya. I'm pretty much your girl for everything! If you have any questions regarding our plot, membergroups, etc. don't hesitate to ask me. I'm also in charge of coding, graphics, anything skin related, and advertising/affiliates.
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ADDI
ADMINISTRATOR
Hey! I'm Addi. Hit me up if you need help with anything. I'm always for plotting so don't be shy. I like coffee, booze, and working out. I'm back from a long hiatus the dead so if you need anything, best ask the others until I get back into the groove of things!
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FINNLEY
GLOBAL MODERATOR
Hi hello! My name is Finnley, or Finn, call whichever and I'll be there for you (yes like the FRIENDS theme song). I am in charge of the claims and helping with miscellaneous things. Let me know if you have any questions!
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outbreak
/ˈaʊtbreɪk/ zero /ˈzɪərəʊ/
a sudden occurrence of something unwelcome, such as war or disease. number, no quantity or number; nought; the figure 0.
"I've been cleared already, you just lay your head down, close your eyes, and we'll be home before you know it."
She didn't argue with him. Her eyes shutting as she tried to push out all the thoughts that rushed through her head, all the images that were threatening to cause tears to pour from her eyes. As calm and cool as she was listening to the distress calls that she did regularly, they never made her feel like this. Seeing those things, fighting for her life, it was completely different. She wasn't sure how long it even took for them to get home. Her eyes remained shut as she rested her head against the cool window. Jax got them home safely, which she didn't doubt. She never doubted him.
The realization that hit her at the station was the one that took over in her mind as she got out of the car and followed him into their apartment, her hand reaching out and grasping his. She watched him as if seeing him for the first time, full of color and all the details were sharp. His blonde hair, messy and falling across his forehead at times. Those marble eyes that drove her wild. She always loved looking into them, the uniqueness was what drew her to them. His height difference against her. The build of his shoulders and small of his waist. The way he walked and carried himself. It was almost all new, though so very familiar.
If anything had happened to him, she would have been distraught. She had fallen in love with him somewhere between drunk poker nights and leaving little cupcakes and goodies in his lunch. And the thought almost made her cry. Why did she not realize it? Why did it take seeing him come through that door to rescue her for her to realize it? And why him? It was cruel, he had been mourning his fiancee's death. Still was during certain times. She remembers ripping into the poor pizza restaurant owner for being ignorant to what could have happened. And now here she was, in love with him and... she could do nothing. That's the thought that brought a few tears out of her eyes as he opened the door to the apartment. She was glad that she had the moment to wipe them away before she shuffled in behind him.
She wasn't ready to face him, not just yet. What she wanted was to make good on that statement she made under her desk. "I'm going to go shower," She said, her hand squeezing his before she slowly pulled away. She slipped into the bathroom and turned the water on as hot as it would go and stripped down. The blood on her shirt had her panicking to get out of them faster. She kicked them behind the toilet where she couldn't see them before she got under the hot water. It burned her skin, but she didn't care. She wanted to rip off her first layer of skin. She wanted to scrub her skin raw to try and get the thoughts out, maybe if it felt like new skin then she'd feel better.
Arlo knew it wouldn't work, and she let herself sink to the floor of the shower and cry. Her knees wrapping to her chest and she let herself cry until she couldn't anymore. The water was cold by the time she scrubbed herself down for the third time and got out of the shower. She slipped into her room, and pulled on a tank top and pair of sweat pants. Her freckled face stared at her bed, and she couldn't find it in herself to get into it. Instead she found herself out her door and padding across barefoot to his bedroom door. Her hand hesitated above the closed door, but only for a few seconds before she knocked lightly in warning. Her hand twisting the knob as she entered the dark room and she shut the door behind her.
She was across the room and into his bed in seconds, not caring about anything except reaching out and finding him between the sheets. He was her comfort, and right now, she needed him. She'd deal with her feelings, her thoughts, everything else come the morning. And she could only hope he wouldn't ask her to leave. She shuffled closer to him and pressed a kiss to his shoulder as she settled in next to him. He had kissed her, why couldn't she do it back? She didn't wrap herself around him though, as much as she wanted to. At least not yet. Instead, she laid beside him and reached out to take his hand in the darkness before she drifted off to sleep.
The day had been a long one. He had gotten her home safely, holding her hand the entire time. He didn't know which one of them needed it more and he didn't care to think about it. He just wanted to get her safe. He wanted to get her away from all of the noise and the chaos, the screaming and wreckage that was now scattered around the city. He wanted to get her home so he could keep her safe, so he could physically see her asleep and secure in their home. The pair walked in the door and he nodded when she mentioned she wanted to shower. He had gone to his shower as well. He didn't take long. He didn't want her to be alone, the notion ridiculous but he didn't care. He had gotten clean and got dressed in a handful of minutes, stepping quietly outside of his room.
Jax locked the door and deadbolt, sliding a chair under the knob just in case things got crazy again. He shut off the main light as he listened to the water from the guest bathroom still pouring. He sighed, debating on sticking around outside or not. He wanted to be with her, but he also knew that she had done things today that wouldn't be easy to think about and sometimes space was the best thing for that. He didn't want to pressure her into talking about anything she didn't want to. He checked the handgun he kept secured in his room, glancing once more towards the guest bathroom before going in his room.
The minutes ticked by and her absence made it clear that she wanted space. Something he respected, albeit begrudgingly. Jax turned off the light and slipped into his bed. His body was slowly working the adrenaline out of his system. His ankle had begun throbbing lightly, the same with his shoulder. His mind began running through the events of the day, picking apart what he could have done better. Thinking about how he could have prevented today from happening at all. His thoughts were coming rapidly, refusing to relent to sleep, when a soft knock pulled his attention back to his room.
Jax didn't have time to react before his door opened. He stilled himself, his heart beating quicker in his chest. His first thought was that something was wrong, but she didn't speak. The bed moved softly and Arlo's body slid into the bed next to him, her hand finding his. Jax held her hand, feeling her lips graze his shoulder. He hesitated just a second before turning towards her, his arm going around her, to hold her to him. He didn't press her into him of course, just hold her. Her body was warm, the scent of her body wash or lotion comforting him and he closed his eyes. He laid like that, with her in his arms, for a while, neither saying a word. This was unfamiliar territory and he knew it should scare the hell out of him, but all he could think about was how right it felt.
He thought about how close he had come to losing her. How much she had to do today. What she had to go through. She was his best friend, hands down. She was the one thing holding him together and the idea of losing her wrecked him. The words were on the tip of his tongue. He knew he should probably shut the hell up and let her sleep, but there was too much pressure in his chest. He didn't know if she was sleeping or not, but he had to say something, consequences be damned. He had to get it off his chest. Jax spoke softly, "I love you."
Arlo half expected him to say something when she entered his room. She didn't worry about him being confused on the fact it was her, but partially thought he'd ask her if she was okay. But he knew her. He knew that asking that, would probably not help at all. Somehow, like he always did, he knew exactly what to do for her. He didn't hesitate in holding her hand. He didn't pull away when her lips touched his shoulder. She swore she could hear his heart beating just as rapidly as hers, but instead of pulling away. Instead of asking her what she thought she was doing, he turned towards her and wrapped an arm around her. Her eyes closed as she immediately felt her body relax into him.
They had never shied away from one another. They would sit closely on the couch to watch movies, or Tiger King which he had forced her to watch. Which only prompted 'What the hell' a hundred times an episode from her. Their arms usually pressed together, shoulder to shoulder. She would even put her head on his shoulder sometimes. It was a comfortable action. Though she felt this was different. Here, in his bed, he was holding her without being overwhelming. But she needed to be overwhelmed. She wanted her senses overwhelmed by him. His scent, the clean sheets under them, his warmth. She immediately moved into him, pressing her smaller body to his until there wasn't an inch of space between them.
And overwhelmed she was. It was comforting. He was home to her. Forget the apartment, forget the station. All of that could go away, but here, with him? This was what home felt like. And she hadn't felt that way, ever. Not with her father, her aunt, not even Trinity. As she found herself lost in that place halfway between dreaming and reality, she swore she heard him say something. "I love you," It was his voice, but that couldn't have come from him. Her mind must be more exhausted than she thought. And if he had said it, she was sure it was the kind of love that she said to Trinity. You could love someone without being in love with them. Like the way she was in love with him.
How much time passed, she didn't know. But eventually a dream took over. One that was fast, lights and sirens moving. Her heart racing as a loud noise went off. And that noise silenced everything. She looked down at herself and saw red spreading from her stomach, down her hands. She awoke with a start, her body immediately flying up as she let out a small strangled noise as she gasped for air. Her whole form shaking as she realized she didn't know where she was. Her brown eyes scanned the room as she felt the body next to her move. "I-I'm okay, I... I just had a bad dream." She said, knowing that it was Jax beside her as she remembered crawling into his bed last night. She closed her eyes as she tried to still her heart that was desperately trying to escape her chest.
Arlo turned towards him, shifting them so they were laying back down and once again, pushed herself against his side. Just like he had done back in the station, she found herself pressing her full lips to his forehead. Lingering probably too long before she murmured softly to him. "I'm okay." and circling her nose to his. Before she rested her head on the pillow, her face still close to his.
Her hand landed on his chest as she settled back down next to him. She was wide awake, and probably wouldn't be falling back to sleep for a while. But that didn't mean he had to stay up with her. From the darkness still outside, it was late. And she was sure that he was exhausted. She was too, but her mind was too awake right now to settle back into a slumber. "You don't have to stay awake, marbles. And I'm sorry for invading your room. You just make me feel safe. And my room felt too far away. I won't make a habit of this, I promise." A small laugh left her, trying to joke and make light of the fact that she was pushing limits with her best friend.
Jax had moved hesitantly at first, his arm slowly going around her body. He had a flashback to how he felt all those years ago in training. Moving slowly, hesitantly, as he practiced diffusing a bomb. There were so many ways this could go wrong. She could slap him, she could yell at him, she could get angry and move out. There were so many terrible ways this could go, but he had to trust his gut on this one. He didn't exactly know why he was holding her, but it just felt right. It felt like something he needed to do. He knew this was stepping into whatever territory lay outside their realm of friendship, but he had to do it.
He had practically been holding his breath as he did it. His skin touching hers. Then, as if by magic, she moved into him. Her body effortlessly formed to his, and he felt as if a weight had been lifted off his chest. She fit against him, her body warm and soft. It felt right to have her so near. It had been a long time since he had held anyone this close, and he had thought those days were going to be gone forever. He couldn't imagine another woman lying in this bed, in his arms. But laying in bed with her so near, it just felt right.
Then the words had come out of his lips. Those three little words that held the weight of the world. Those words hadn't come out of his lips in such a long time. They felt strange, but not wrong. He did love her. He loved the way she knew what he needed, the way she always made him laugh or smile. When everything went to hell, she was the voice that calmed him. When he heard her hesitation, when he heard her screaming, when it became clear that he might not see her again...he felt it. He didn't understand it, but he felt it. He had lost a lot, and he had survived it. He had pushed through that pain and heartache. He had made it out the other end, but when it became clear that he might lose her...he knew he couldn't have survived that. She was it.
He closed his eyes, holding her near him as the words came out of his lips. The darkness remained silent and he didn't bother to figure out if she was sleeping or not. He hadn't said those words to get a response from her. He hadn't said the words because he needed validation. No, he said them because he couldn't keep them in any longer. He couldn't lay there and not tell her how much he cared for her, how whole she made his life. He laid in the darkness until the minutes drifted on, his mind slowly drifting off into sleep.
The feel of movement next to him woke him up. Jax felt her tense, her body jerk sharply. His eyes opened and he looked over to her as she spoke about a bad dream. Jax moved his hand to her, touching her soft curls. The room was mostly dark except a lamp in his far corner, casting a warm, soft glow on her skin. How he had never noticed how beautiful her brown eyes were he wasn't sure. He was still looking into her eyes as she shifted, moving to press her lips to his forehead.
She murmured that she was fine and a soft smile touched his lips, "The future Mrs.Tiger King maybe?" He rolled over so they were facing each other. His hand moved forward, gently touching the spot on her lip where she had been bleeding, "How are you feeling? Anything raising any alarm bells?" He hadn't been there when she had been attacked. He didn't know what kind of hell she had to endure and he hated it. He knew, rationally speaking, that there had been nothing else he could have done, but he didn't know if he'd ever be able to forgive himself.
She touched his chest as she spoke, telling him to go to sleep. He shook his head, "Nah. I'm not tired." She had said she wasn't going to make this a habit and he pursed his lips. His mind told him to let her go. That he should agree with her and just let her leave the room so he wouldn't make any of this even more awkward and uncomfortable, but he couldn't. Yet again, he acted without letting his mind catch up to what he was actually doing.
"I'm glad you're in here." He paused, his mind racing in an effort to make what he wanted to say sound coherent, "I've been doing this job for a long time and I've never been scared. Not even once. But when I heard you scream...." He had to force himself to swallow, the memory of hearing her that scared sending heat course through his body. "I have never felt more scared of anything in my entire life. I know that sounds really weird for a roommate to say, but.." He sighed in defeat, he couldn't lie about it. "I just...can't lose you."
His hand reaching out to touch her hair was more soothing than she thought it could be. And as he joked with her after she pressed her lips to his head she let out a shaky almost silent laugh. “That would be a truly terrifying nightmare.” Because that meant that she’d be sitting there every day of her life whispering those three words of: “What the hell”. She kept close to him as he rolled over and mirrored her in bed. His hand coming up to touch her lip reminded her that it was busted. She didn’t even bother looking in the mirror when she went into her bathroom. She was partially afraid of what she might have seen.
She stared into his eyes for a moment, before she shook her head lightly. “Nothing I haven’t dealt with before physically.” She said without much thought. A busted lip was easy to deal with. She was sure she had bruises elsewhere as well, but it didn’t really register to her right now. Which wasn’t shocking considering she was laying down and wrapped up against him. Right now, she felt the most comfortable she had felt in a long time thanks to him. “Jax, I don’t even know how it happened. It was so fast. One moment I just was… I was there and the next we were struggling over it.” She couldn’t bring herself to really talk about the ‘it’ yet. “I don’t even know who pulled the trigger.” That was a truly haunting feeling for her.
When he pushed off her comment to head back to sleep, she almost argued that he should. That he had gone through a lot and physically a lot more than her as well, that she was sure. “How do you feel? Are you okay?” She asked, her eyes scanning his face for any sign of him lying to her. Or brushing off something as nothing. She was worried about him too, in the way that he was worried about her. She only wanted to make sure that if he was injured, that at least in the morning he’d go get it looked at.
As he started to speak again, she stilled against him. Arlo almost felt like her heart even slowed its pace as if it would spook him from talking to her about what he wanted to say. As he talked about her screaming, she almost flinched at the memory. Though she pushed through it and kept her face straight as she could. She watched him process the memory on his own before continuing as well. At the word ‘roommate’ she slightly flinched. Not meaning to at all. But damn she definitely felt like she was beyond roommate. And she knew that she was, but to hear it put simply, she didn’t quite like that. “I’d like to think I am more of a best friend than a simple roommate.” She whispered to him.
“I just…can’t lose you.”
Arlo hesitated for a moment. A long moment as an internal battle started inside of her as she weighed some options out on her head. “You won’t,” she promised him. She didn’t plan on it. And she knew that he wouldn’t let anything happen to her. He would find a way to protect her. No matter how far he was, what he was doing, who he was with. He was going to find a way to protect her. And with a daring move that she might regret later, in the later hours of the day, she moved forward and pressed her lips to his. Just for a second, just long enough to make contact before she shifted down and buried her face into his chest and wrapped her arms around him. “I’m not going anywhere Jax. And I’ll fight anything that tries to take me away from you.”
Jax let his eyes silently roam over her face. Her lip was healing, but he could tell the skin was bruising, even in the faint light of his room. Her eyes were slightly red, from crying or being exhausted he didn't know and if he had to guess, he'd warrant his matched hers. "I have some prescription-strength Tylenol in my bedside drawer if you need it." His job all but guaranteed the prescription. He normally didn't have to refill it but a few times a year. He liked to reserve it for when things got a little too crazy on a mission. A fracture here, a broken nose there, just a handful of things that warranted the need for stronger pain relief. He knew there would be a day when he'd need something stronger. You didn't get to grow old in this field without getting some sort of life-altering condition on the way out, but for the time being at least, he was just fine with the Tylenol.
Jax stayed completely still and silent as he listened to her talk about what happened. He felt his chest tighten at her words. Despite knowing that she was alright, despite having her within inches of him, hearing her speak the words made his blood run hot. He wished a thousand times over he could have been there. That maybe if he had been just a few minutes quicker she wouldn't have had to live through the ordeal that she had been forced into. His eyes saught hers, "It doesn't matter. You did what you had to do. You saved lives today Arlo." He couldn't help himself, his hand reached out, utterly gently as his fingers brushed her cheek. "I'm sorry you had to face that alone. If I could do it all over again, I swear I would have been there." He exhaled, chiding himself for getting off-topic. This wasn't about him, this wasn't about his feelings. "You saved so many lives today. You were brave. You are brave and strong and you did what you had to do. For what it's worth, I'm damn proud of you." Sure he was going to demand that she take some self-defense lessons, either with him or someone with the force, but she kicked butt. She handled herself better than any of the other dispatchers, better than some of their own officers.
Arlo asked about him and he watched in amusement as she mimicked him from earlier, her brown eyes moving over his face. A half-grin came to his lips and he knew she wouldn't take some half-answer or brush off. "My shoulder got pretty banged up and I'm afraid to see the bruising around my ankle, but I'm alright. I promise." A perk to doing all the training he had done was that when situations came up like the one they had faced, his body reacted from muscle memory. His chances of pulling or breaking something was decreased, usually.
Then he had spoken. The words coming out of his lips before he could stop them. He didn't let himself watch her reaction. He wasn't sure he could have spoken the words if he had been watching her. One awkward pull of her lips and he would have had to move out immediately from the embarrassment. The only thing that did catch his attention was her voice, softly murmuring about being more than a roommate. He could have kicked himself, "Yeah...I mean...of course. I didn't mean just a roommate. You're...hell you're my best friend. You're...." His mind raced as he struggled to comprehend exactly how to relate to her how much she meant to him. The seconds ticked by and he was still struggling to figure out what to say, and then her lips met his.
The apartment could have been on fire and Jax was almost certain he wouldn't have noticed. Her lips were on his and his brain was struggling to keep up with anything else. As quick as she pressed her lips to his they were gone again and she moved to him, declaring that she would fight to keep herself near him. The emotions were like a tidal wave, threatening to pull him under. He was happy, ridiculously happy, and guilty. He was slightly regretful and also terrified out of his mind. He wanted to press a pause button and step away to sort out what was going through his mind, but didn't have the time.
She was in his arms, her small body fit to his like she was made for him and that damned kiss had both cleared his mind and set off a bomb. He swallowed hard once before speaking, the words barely audible. "You're my best friend. You're the person who can always make me laugh, even when things suck. You're the person who gets me, unlike anyone else I've ever met. You're the first person I want to see when I wake up and the last person I want to see when I go to sleep. You are...it Arlo." Just what it was, he wasn't sure, or maybe he could if he let himself go there, if he forced himself to be brave about it all, but for now he just hoped he was making sense. That his point was coming across. And in case it hadn't yet...
Jax looked down at her, his hand coming up to softly tilt her chin up. He leaned back so he could look into her eyes, her brown eyes that threatened to drown him, his eyes lingered on hers for just a moment before closing, his head leaning down, pressing his lips to hers.
She truly considered his offer. She was sure that it would help the bruised lip that was throbbing lightly as she thought about it. Or even from the other aches in her body from the struggling. But right now, it would require her to move from him, and truly, he was the best pain killer at the moment that she could be offered. He was distracting, from the way his eyes lingered on hers to the way that his voice carried a soothing tone to it as he worried over her. She hummed lightly at the thought. “Maybe later. But I don’t want to move right now, nor do I want you to get up.” Arlo said, in case he got any ideas to get up and get it for her. She wasn’t ready for the removal of his body heat next to her.
His eyes steeled her once again as he talked to her about what she had done. About the life that drained in front of her, that she couldn’t even spare a glance at afterwards. “But what if he had a family... what if he had children... what happens to them? What if he felt he had no choice?” The questions poured out of her before he apologized for not being there. His fingers lingering on the skin of her cheek made her stop, still under the feeling that they offered to her. Her brows were pulled together in anguish but he was giving her something to help relieve it. As he went on with how brave she had been, how he was proud of her for being strong and stepping up to protect those who couldn’t protect themselves. Her hands trembled lightly as she swallowed. “I... please lets not talk about this tonight. I-” She heard her voice choke for a second and she closed her eyes. “I know I did what had to be done. It was us or him.” She whispered.
As she shifted her look over him, she was glad to hear him being honest with her. It was a nice distraction from the ugliness that she just spoke about. Her fingers lifted to touch his shoulder lightly, trailing down his arm until her hand reached his and she squeezed it. “If it’s bad tomorrow, you promise to get it looked at?” Her tone was stern, as if what she asked was really not a question. Because she would personally stuff him into the car and drive him to a clinic herself. If they would even be able to support seeing him. They must be just as overwhelmed as the rest of them right now.
She felt a small amused smile tug at her mouth as he went into explaining that she was more than a roommate. She knew it, but it was nice to hear him confirm it and it was quite endearing to see him try and make sure she heard that he meant it. And that was when she had kissed him. A heat hit her cheeks as she settled into his chest afterwards, glad for the moment of trying her best to cool her cheeks. She was running on raw emotion and she had acted without much thought. She was worried that he would be telling her next about how even though she was his best friend, that was it. That her kiss while appreciated was not wanted again. The only comfort for a moment was the fact that he hadn’t tried to remove her hold on him.
And then he started whispering words. Almost like he didn’t want the walls to hear what he was saying. That truly the words were just for her ears, and nothing else. With each word, her heart picked up its pace, until it was racing. Her eyes open as she stared at the fabric that covered his chest, her eyes seeing every little piece of fabric as his words sank in. It. She was it. Her mind placed what he meant easily, but she knew he was not at that realization where she was. Not yet. And that was okay. She didn’t need to have him on that same page yet. Hearing him say what he just did meant more to her than he could even know. Small tears pricked the corners of her eyes and she tried to blink them away.
But they halted all together as his hand slipped between the two of them and tilted her to look up at him. She easily moved her head, freckled face staring at him for a long moment. Committing the look he wore on his face to memory in the low light that was casted around the room. And then he lowered his lips to hers. It was all she needed. Her hands slipped from his body up to his hair and arching so she could fit her lips against his easier. It was overwhelming, but she welcomed it. As she shifted herself slightly higher, so he wasn’t having to lean down so much as she moved her mouth against his. And then she hit a sore spot on her mouth that caused her to groan and pull back lightly.
Her breath shaky as she pressed her forehead against his. “You are my it, Jackson.” She offered back to him, her hands still in his blonde hair and brown eyes searching his marbled gaze a moment before she pressed another gentle kiss to him. They had just crossed a line that she honestly didn’t care too much about at the moment.
Jax pursed his lips as she spoke about the consequences of her actions. He had been there. His first unit mission went wrong, and his team had been sent bad intel. Jax had ended up taking out the wrong man. The guy had been working with the target, and he most assuredly was not one of the good guys. No, the records that the department had on the man were long enough to cover two pages, but he hadn't been the target that day. He hadn't been the one who was supposed to die. Jax hadn't known the mistake until the bodies were brought into the morgue and ID'd. He had spent the entire afternoon with his team being debriefed on the mistake. It had been a simple clerical error and though he wasn't responsible, it didn't take any of the guilt away.
He had asked himself the same questions that she was speaking out loud. He gently touched her cheek and she seemed to still, to quiet. She told him she didn't want to talk about it anymore and he nodded once softly. "At the end of the day, whatever happened, happened for a reason. I'm not saying we're not responsible for the choices that we make, but I do think that everything happens for a reason. And sometimes, that reason isn't for us to understand." It wasn't much and he wasn't even sure if it would help, but it was all he had at the moment. It was a thought that he tried to keep at the forefront of his mind, especially as of lately.
If she hadn't been put in that terrible position, if that man had instead tried taking out SWAT, maybe he wouldn't be here. Maybe, had that man not decided to take the actions that he did, she would have never been put in that situation. Maybe she would have never called to him in a panic, maybe he never would have been struck with the idea that he might lose her and make him see what she meant to him. Maybe if it hadn't happened....he wouldn't find himself with her in his arms right now. It wasn't pretty and if he could go back and change things, he absolutely would, but he couldn't say he wasn't glad in some way that it did happen.
Jax had been honest with her and her finger touched his arm, gently caressing his skin. Jax felt chills run down him as her touch followed his arm down, lightly squeezing his hand. Her tone was every bit as adamant and stern as any of his superior officers and he resisted the urge to tell her yes ma'am. An amused smile came to his lips, "I promise." He moved his arm and did a mock flex, "Gotta keep these guns in top shape Espinoza." He was kidding of course, Jax wasn't one of those frat-guy douchebags who flexed and talked about himself in third person, but he was hoping at the very least it'd get a smile from her.
Then the conversation turned to one that was so real and fraught with emotion that the words had almost been a whisper out of his lips. He was scared, out of his mind kind of scared, but he couldn't stop the words. He couldn't stop himself from saying what he needed her to know, what he was feeling. He wasn't sure if they were right or if they were something that he should keep to himself, but he knew he had to speak them.
So he did. And then he had tilted her head to look up at him. He had glanced into her brown eyes that were so damningly beautiful just a moment before his lips pressed against her. He felt her hand move to his hair, and he breathed in her scent that filled the space around them. Her head arched slightly, allowing him to kiss her more easily and his hand softly moved to her waist. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he should stop doing what he was doing, but he couldn't. He was falling with every second that their lips touched and he didn't care if it was going to hurt in the morning. As she shifted ever so slightly to meet his kiss in return, her shirt shifted and his thumb grazed the bare skin at her waist. An involuntary murmur of pleasure left his lips as electricity seemed to be running through his body. He had lost himself in the moment, but then she had made a groan of pain and pulled back from him and Jax felt like ice water had been poured over him.
"Are you alright? I'm sorry....." His words were halted when she placed her forehead to his, speaking the same words back to him that he had said to her. He felt a pressure fill his chest. It was warm happiness, a satisfaction and pride that she returned his sentiment. There was also, however, guilt. Just a bit of guilt. He closed his eyes, forcing his breathing to steady. He hadn't wanted to push her into the kiss, into deciphering his feelings or feeling pressured into anything with his words. "You need to get some sleep. It's been...a crazy day." His hand slowly moved to her hair, tucking a strand behind her ear. "If you want to roll over, I can hold you..if you want?" He hoped she'd allow it. He hoped she'd roll over and move into his arms. She needed sleep and the morning would give them better clarity to talk about what happened between them. At least, that's what he hoped.
tag: Jackson Etter | OOC: gah I’m sorry she got so sad
His voice was soothing on its own, the words were just an added bonus. The way he directed her thoughts, his soft touch to her cheek, it was enough to slow her thoughts for the moment. To keep the tears from falling from her eyes. Or maybe that was because she had cried herself out while she was in the shower early. And her body knew it couldn’t handle losing any more water at the moment. She chewed lightly on her bottom lip before she nodded at his words. She would have to accept it for what it was at the moment. Or else she would continue talking about what she just said she didn’t want to talk about anymore.
She thought about the turn of events over the day. Over the past week. How did this even happen? And why did they go for the police station? She still was terrified that they felt bold enough to go there. The place where there would be some of the best trained people. But they again, they waited until the calls came in and almost every unit was sent out. Only the bare minimum was left behind. It made her think that someone had stratigically planned this out. But just as she had said, she was too tired. She didn’t want to talk about it. Nor should she think more on it.
After she just about strong armed him with her words, she was shaking her head as his arm lifted and he flexed his ‘gun’. His words, not hers. She let out a burst of a laugh. Even though he wasn’t the type to go around flexing for all to see, even when drunk. He did have nice arms to show off that made the experience a little less painful. “Watch it Etter. Keep talking like that and you might find yourself wearing polos and plaid shorts on the regular.” She made a mental note to buy him something similar to that at some point this year. Birthday, Christmas, whatever. Just to see his face. She’d have to make him try it on.
The kiss had been everything. It was heart racing, it was electric, it was awakening. He overwhelmed her in a way that she couldn’t put to words and it felt just right. His thumb on her bare skin had her shudder lightly and she felt goosebumps rise on her skin. This was not what roommates felt like. This was not what best friends felt like. This was so much more. And his soft noise had her wanting more of it, had her mind racing to see what she could do to hear it again. Until her pained groan had made its appearance. And at his apology, she didn’t care. She simply spoke over him, telling him that he was her it. Using his full name. Not Jax, not Marbles, but Jackson.
He took a moment to still himself, and some part of her suddenly was very nervous. Even though he kissed her back, she still was the one to start it. And with the two of them running on raw emotion and a lack of sleep at this point. And the fact that they were both physically exhausted from the day as well. Her heart sank a little bit as he told her that she needed sleep. He wasn’t wrong, she knew that she needed it. Just like he did as well. She lightly bit the inside of her cheek and nodded though, accepting that he was right and maybe she really should just lay back down. His gentle touch while tucking her hair had her eyes close briefly, taking in the moment. This was going to be over come morning. She invaded his room, she invaded his bed.
“If you want to roll over, I can hold you..if you want?”
Would it be selfish of her to accept his offer? Yes. Was she going to possibly regret it when the rejection came in the morning? Absolutely. But was she going to say no? She found her head nodding to him, as she turned in his arms, scooting herself back until her back was against his chest and hips were against his. She would be selfish right now, she would apologize in the morning light. Maybe try and wake up before him to cook them both breakfast like she usually did, get them a cup of coffee going before she had to sort out any sort of feelings between them. “Good night Marbles.” She murmured as she closed her eyes and tried her best to fall into a dreamless sleep until the morning woke them.
Jax was silent as he asked her if she wanted to stay in the bed with him. He didn't know what her reaction would be. They had kissed, they had said things that neither could go back on and he wasn't sure what to expect anymore. He couldn't fault her if she left his bed. Hell, he couldn't fault her if she left the apartment for a few days. He couldn't hold any of that against her because in one block of time, before even the sun was up, he had changed everything. Their dynamic and their easy relationship was changed and he knew it was on him. He had said too much, done too much. He held his breath as he waited for her reaction.
Arlo nodded her head gently and Jax exhaled softly. She turned from him, and like they were made to do it, her back nestled against him, her body forming to his. Jax put his arm around her, holding her to him. She was warm and soft and the want to never let her out of his arms again bounced around in his chest. He tried not to care. He tried not to think about the last time he held a woman in his arms. He tried not to think about how he could be ruining a friendship and instead let himself focus on her. The way she felt in his arms, the way she smelled as she was tucked in so near him. He had wanted nothing more than to protect her.
He would have moved hell itself if it had meant keeping her safe. Now, with her safely in his arms, all he could do was think about how thankful he was. Utterly thankful. He couldn't lose her. He didn't want to think about the person he would be if he hadn't found her. He couldn't lose her and he couldn't let her go. No matter how selfish and wrong that might be.
She spoke his nickname and a smile came to his lips, the tension in his chest easing. Maybe she wasn't as ready to bolt as he thought she might be, he thought silently to himself. Though he knew morning would be the real test. When they had to speak and discuss what happened. He spoke softly, "Good night."
He felt her breathing deepen and he was glad she was sleeping. She needed the rest. He closed his eyes but the minutes ticked by into hours and he couldn't fall asleep. He laid in the bed with her until the sounds of the city awakening began to filter through his room. A glance at his wrist showed it was a little after six am and he carefully removed himself from her. He tucked the covers in softly, hoping he wouldn't wake her, before moving to his dresser drawer and grabbing a set of clothes out.
Jax changed quietly and left a note that said he'd be right back before slipping out of the apartment. She was normally the one who took care of breakfast for the two of them, but he figured it was the least he could do, and he was already up anyway. Jax walked a few blocks down to a bakery, relieved that it was actually open. He got an assortment of doughnuts, croissants, and muffins with one black coffee for him, one double shot expresso over milk for her.
He then made his way back to their place, stopping in quickly to pick up their mail on his way up. He balanced everything as he opened the door, putting the bakery goods on the kitchen table. He was about to toss the mail there too when his eyes caught on a letter from the police department. He held onto that one, sitting the others on the table.
His arms wrapping around her made her melt into him. Why did it just feel so right? Why did it seem like they were just the perfect height for one another, to fix against one another as if they were missing pieces of a puzzle that formed to make a whole? He made her feel protected, like she didn’t have to worry about anything because he would fight everything that tried to harm her. It was just all overwhelming. And yet, she had never felt more at peace than she did in his arms as he told her good night.
She didn’t last long. She thought she might be awake for the rest of the night but with his body keeping her warm she was lulled into a sleep. She had no dreams, something that she would later probably be thankful of. That her mind was so tired that it couldn’t produce anything ugly for her to see. It didn’t relive her previous day horrors. It didn’t even pull up wicked flashbacks to her teen years and the pain that her father had inflicted on her during that time. The one that taught her to be calm during those situations and put on a poker face like no one else had seen.
When her eyes finally decided that they were ready to reopen, it was because she heard a door shut. At first, she felt a little confused. This was not her room. She peered around without moving out from the bed that smelled... like Jax. This was his room, she was in his bed. Where she had climbed in the night before and he welcomed her into his arms. She stretched her legs out slowly, her muscles sore but overall working well. At least she wasn’t completely broken. She slowly looked over her shoulder to find herself laying alone. A small frown on her lips when she realized that he had left. Was he actually gone? Or did he just get up before she did?
She listened for sounds in the house, and didn’t hear anything. She rolled onto her stomach and buried her face back into his pillow, where he had curled behind her. It smelled like him, something that eased her mind and pulled lightly at her to go back to sleep. She could probably still use the sleep. But she knew that if she went back to sleep, she’d probably sleep until late afternoon and would regret it later. So with a shift, she got out of his bed, her bare feet hitting the floor and she tugged down the shirt she had on and straightened her PJ shorts. She straightened out his bed sheets when her eyes caught a note with her name on it. She opened it and a small smile tugged at her lips.
At least he should be back soon. She slipped out of his room and walked to hers, picking up her cell phone and realizing that was a mistake. 52 missed calls. 28 voicemails. 108 text messages. She groaned lightly as she stared at it, noticing then that the corner of her screen was cracked. Well that was new, and no doubt from the struggle she was in yesterday. She beat back the memory as she opened the phone and looked through the missed call log. Trinity. Her heart stopped at her name, and raced as she kept going up the list. Her aunt, another dispatcher, at the very top, in the middle of the night, her father. She swallowed the lump in her throat as she switched to the voicemails. She went to the last one that Trinity left. Hearing her voice almost made Arlo cry.
She ended the voicemail and immediately called Trinity. Who answered on the second ring, relief coming from both women. They were both okay. Trinity had been off duty that day. Arlo promised to talk to her later but reassured that both herself and Jax were safe. She called her aunt next, who picked up after a few rings and sounded like she was asleep until she heard Arlo’s voice. Immediately she went into a flurry of concerns and questions. Which was when she heard their door open. She peeked around the corner of her door to see Jax entering their kitchen. “Si tia. I promise we are fine. I’ve got to go though. I will call you later okay?” She hung up the phone and with a finger hovering over her fathers name, she hesitated. Did she even want to tell him? Surely his sister would call him and let him know she talked to her. She decided maybe after breakfast. After she got some coffee in and talked with Jax...
The memory of Jax and her kissing hit her then. Oh, they’d have to talk about that. She flushed a bright red at the memory. How it felt so right to kiss him, how he kissed her back and his hand grazing her skin. At least it felt right for her. Was this about to be embarrassing and heart breaking? He had still had his fiancés things around the house when she moved in. He was just returning to work when they had came to the insane agreement to live together. But, it felt so right to think about him in that light. But she’d never want to push him or rush him into something. Did he feel the same way about her? Or was he going to tell her that last night was a mistake that they’d have to put behind them?
Never one to hide, she collected herself and connected her phone to the charger in her room before she made it out to him. Still dressed in her PJ’s from the night before and hair probably a little more wild from sleep. She could smell the coffee and fresh baked goods. She moaned lightly as she turned into their kitchen, her stomach was ready for something. “Good morning,” She braved a look at Jax and couldn’t help the butterflies that flapped around in her stomach. A bright smile claiming her busted lip. “You are a life saver, Marbles.” She said, picking up the coffee that was placed in her spot and taking a seat next to him. Where she always sat when they had time to dine together. She braved a look up at him when she saw the letter in his hand. “What’s that?” She asked lightly, reaching over for a muffin to place in front of her.
