OUTBREAK: ZERO is a semi post-apocalyptic pandemic roleplay set in the fictional city of Lethford, USA. Current season: Winter, 20/21.
March 2020. The world is in pandemonium as one month ago, GHNv-20 was confirmed, five months after the beginning of norovirus season. The number of the infected are in the higher hundred thousands, and the death toll is at an estimated 250,000, with about seventy percent of the rest of the population experiencing mild to moderate illnesses connected to the S. pyogenes bacteria.
The fear of the unknown has caused mass hysteria and panic.
In an attempt to provide a semblance of safety and control, military personnel patrol the streets, even here in Lethford City, and the police force is trying to keep up with the rising street violence, assault, and theft.
Welcome to OUTBREAK: zero. Will you survive?
HAYANA
SITE OWNER + HEAD ADMINISTRATOR
Hi! I'm Haya. I'm pretty much your girl for everything! If you have any questions regarding our plot, membergroups, etc. don't hesitate to ask me. I'm also in charge of coding, graphics, anything skin related, and advertising/affiliates.
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CODING
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ADDI
ADMINISTRATOR
Hey! I'm Addi. Hit me up if you need help with anything. I'm always for plotting so don't be shy. I like coffee, booze, and working out. I'm back from a long hiatus the dead so if you need anything, best ask the others until I get back into the groove of things!
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APPLICATIONS
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MEDIATOR
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FINNLEY
GLOBAL MODERATOR
Hi hello! My name is Finnley, or Finn, call whichever and I'll be there for you (yes like the FRIENDS theme song). I am in charge of the claims and helping with miscellaneous things. Let me know if you have any questions!
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CLAIMS
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STAFF NAME
OPEN MODERATOR POSITION
outbreak
/ˈaʊtbreɪk/ zero /ˈzɪərəʊ/
a sudden occurrence of something unwelcome, such as war or disease. number, no quantity or number; nought; the figure 0.
Jax looked down at her sleeping face, a smile tugging at his lips. Her brows pinched together in confusion for just a second before she relaxed again, his chest feeling like it was filled with butterflies. She nor Jax hadn't left their apartment in weeks, a fact that grated against every fiber of his being. He liked being home with Arlo of course, that had been the only thing keeping him sane, but being out with her sounded like paradise.
He was a social creature, and even with his SWAT buddies calling on the regular, he missed being outside and around people. He missed the stupid little things like having lunch at the park outside or that feeling he always got when he walked through the precinct doors. Stopping by their favorite coffee place and picking her up a cup on his way to work. There was no doubt that he missed it all, but as his eyes moved over her next to him in bed, over her pleased face, he wouldn't have traded places for anything in the world.
A grin lit up his face as she sleepily looked up at him. His nickname came from her lips and he resisted every urge in the world to scoop her up and swing her around and around. She questioned the boundary rule and a self-satisfied tone replied, "I got the call this morning. I'm all-clear. Apparently there was a mistake and she confirmed that there are no traces in my blood. So I can do this…." He snuggled in closer to her, moving to wrap his arm around her. "And this…." His other hand gently moved her soft curls out of her face. She was beautiful. Ridiculously so. Even in the morning, her eyes were making him forget to breathe. How he had somehow convinced her to like him back was beyond his reasoning. His eyes moved from hers and hovered just a moment on her lips. The want was there, but he also knew it wasn't the time. They needed to define what exactly was going on between them and hell, he knew he owed her a date at the very least. There would be a time and a place for kissing…if he was lucky.
His face lit up with a grin again as he contently laid next to her in the bed. There was no rush, at all. Life was perfectly wonderful as far as he was concerned. He was healthy, she was healthy and nothing else mattered. Jax glanced down at her, his voice a little softer, "Thank you, again, by the way. I don't know if I would have made it through all of this without you." It was a little hard to think that barely a few weeks ago he had thought about leaving her alone. That he had realistically considered going to the quarantined zone and waiting it out by himself.
That idea seemed insane now that he thought about it in hindsight. Not to mention that his chances of actually catching the disease would have easily doubled. He had made the right choice by staying with her. Not just the right choice, but the only one that had him coming out the other end. She had refused to let him go. Thrown him a life jacket while he was treading water and refused to let him sink. She had saved him, in every sense of the word. "So…what should we do first?"
Jax stirred awake in his bed, his senses slowly registering that someone was calling his phone. He opened one eye just enough to find his cell, his finger clumsily touching the button to answer it. His voice was husky as he spoke, "Hello?" He cleared his gravelly throat as a chipper voice on the other end of the line asked if he was Jackson Etter. Jax rubbed his eyes with his free hand, "Yeah. Who's this?" He glanced at his watch and registered the time as 7:45 AM. If this had been a work day he and Arlo both would have been up well before the hour, but since quarantine, he had adopted the habit of sleeping in until around nine. A habit he hoped would soon be coming to an end. He loved being in quarantine with Arlo. That was the only thing that was currently keeping him sane lately. It was the unknown that he wanted to be over with. The fear of not knowing if he had put her at risk or not. The idea that he might have jeopardized the health of the only person he wanted in his life. The possibility of his career being taken from him.
The voice spoke, once again much too happy for his currently sleepy brain to enjoy, "Mr. Etter, my name is Patricia. I'm the nurse at Lethford General." In a heartbeat Jax sat up in bed, holding the phone steady against his ear. All of his senses were suddenly on alert, sleep no longer on his mind. The woman continued speaking and Jax felt his heart begin to thump harder in his chest. "I was calling to inform you that the lab results were back. We tested them twice to verify and we are certain that you are not infected." Jax smiled. A genuine, bright smile that he couldn't make go away even if he had wanted to. "So did I have it before or was that some sort of mistake?" He asked, the question being the only thing that was holding him back from jumping up and down on his bed. "You do not have any traces of the virus in your system. It looks like this was a testing error."
Jax laughed. The woman began to apologize and he shook his head, "Nah. Nothing to apologize for. Thank you." The woman mentioned he could call back if he had any questions and that they would be sending the information to the PD. Jax nodded happily as he listened to her speak. "Thank you."
Touching the little red button to end the call he tossed the phone next to him and got up from the bed. He quickly shrugged on a pair of pants that were nearby and moved to his bathroom to brush his teeth. Two minutes later he was bounding as quietly as he could across their apartment. He moved Arlo's door open a little wider and slipped inside her room. He could barely contain the absolute glee that was radiating off of him as he moved to her bed. He laid down behind her, on top of the covers, and laid his head back on one of her pillows. He spoke softly, just enough to wake her up, "Hey sleepyhead, how do you feel about breakfast at that fancy french bakery downtown? My treat."
Her words were barely a whisper but he caught them all. Her body moved from his but oh those words made him want to close the distance between them. The promise of it being worth it, her beautiful eyes moving over his form made him think of sinful things. Things that he knew shouldn't exactly be on the forefront of his mind, but he'd be damned if he could help it. She coaxed him in with a wave of her hand and he needed no further encouragement to step inside and close the door behind himself. Jax shrugged the backpack off his shoulders, holding it firmly in his hands and moved to the table filled with the things he had left.
He listened quietly as Arlo waved off the idea of him needing to be sorry. Relief washed over him as he let her words soothe him. She was, of course, looking for the bright side in all of this. He normally would be right there with her. If it had been anything else other than the possibility of him killing her, he would have been more than happy to make the best of their situation. For the meantime though, he found himself dancing a moral line of wanting to seal himself away and simultaneously snuggle on the couch with her.
He pulled his attention to the table in front of him, "Alright but look, I want you to use this money. That's why it's here okay? No arguments." He did his best to give her a serious look. Not smiling at her wasn't natural though. It felt odd. He was certain she'd do whatever she wanted once he was sequestered away, but it was worth a shot at least.
He walked to his room, laughing lightly when she mentioned she'd be in control of the remote. "Deal. Just do me a favor and spare me the romantic dramas or I warn you…I will narrate it." Jax walked in his room with a grin on his lips that only got bigger when Arlo mentioned cupcakes with lots of icing. He leaned against his doorjamb wondering how in the hell he was lucky enough to get quarantined with his best friend. "Deal."
She gets along very well with her colleagues. Outside of work, however, she finds it hard connecting with people. Lately she's been entirely too busy with work to even think of a personal life.
If you get on her bad side, she has no problem letting you know exactly where you stand. Want an enemy? Talk down to her, be rude to one of her nurses or break the rules. You'll find one pretty quick.
Her work life is currently all-encompassing plus she's quite focused on her goals so it'd take some persistence to keep her engaged with anyone longer than a night or two.
It's hard to make him angry. Your character has to be trying really hard to make Jax not like them. He's quick to forgive too so not many enemies on this front.
She's fairly new to Lethford so she doesn't know too many people in the area other than the people she represents. She can be a bit blunt and not known to sugar-coat things so soft-hearted people might not want to apply for a friendship position.
She's not too keen on anyone in the military or wearing a uniform, which is obviously quite ironic considering who she's in love with. Alas, if your character is from those groups, she tends to avoid them or show her clear disdain.
She's a textbook extrovert. If she finds you interesting, you're going to get pulled into a conversation. She finds it easy to talk to people and make friends so if you can overlook a little bit of accidental arrogance at times, she's your girl.
She isn't very interested in something long term. The girl is ready to run and the idea of being trapped or stuck in something, even a relationship, is claustrophobic to her. She's open to flings or no-strings attached but anything more? That's complicated.
Don't cross him. Just...don't. He's a golden retriever until you push one of his buttons and then it's on. He tends to act quickly and effectively against threats or enemies so...tread lightly.
He doesn't have a lot of enemies. He's hard to be mad at. He doesn't take much serious though so anyone who likes rules and order is basically going to hate him.
If you get her mad at you...you're probably a really horrible person. She tends to forget and forgive easily, not one to anger quickly so unless you're out murdering people...she's probably not going to be your enemy.
She gets along very well with almost everyone. She's an extrovert who's great at manipulation so she finds it easy to get people to like her. Whether or not that's genuine depends on the person.
Arlo spoke so matter-of-factly that Jax found himself chuckling at the pure absurdity of it all. He had been given papers that had effectively destroyed his life and yet, with her in his arms, he couldn't care less. He had been ready to put his lips to hers and make up for lost time. Some, still shocked, part of his brain registered her tilted chin, her gentle touch on the back of his neck encouraging him forward and he felt it all coming together to be right, but then he remembered how wrong that would be. Not the act itself, at least not anymore, but the responsibility he owed her. The tension was undeniable, he would have sworn the air in the apartment had just gotten a whole lot hotter as she closed her eyes.
Jax ran his tongue over his lips before she spoke, all but screaming at himself internally to keep it together. She made a valid point. They had been living too close. She would have to quarantine, in fact, he wouldn't be surprised if his sergeant had followed up with hers and demanded the quarantine. "I'm sorry. I know this is the last thing you want right now." She wasn't one of those people who skipped out on work, who hated their job. Arlo was damn good at what she did and she did it without complaint. He gave her a playful smirk, "I can give you a whole list of movie recommendations to fill the time though. Starting with Die Hard of course."
She moved away from him and he swallowed hard. He steeled himself against moving back to her. Against simply picking her up and refusing to let her go again. The space where she was felt so much more emptier than it had been. Her body left only a lingering warmth that he desperately wanted to cling to again. She began speaking and the corner of his lips tugged up, "Arlo you don't have to clean anything. If I've already had it there isn't much we can do now. This isn't your responsibility anyway. You need to keep yourself healthy."
She spoke about staying with Trinity and he knew that was a perfectly reasonable thing to do. The problem was that if she was there, he couldn't do a damn thing to protect her if something happened. If she was there, there was zero chance he'd get to see her face or hear her singing when she thought he wasn't listening. He would be totally alone and he didn't know if he could do that.
"Okay, I won't go." He ran his hand through his hair before crossing his arms, a smirk on his face, "But what if….I quarantined in my room? I've got a bathroom and shower, I can horde food and I've even got a tv. I can stay in my quarantine quarters and you can have the rest of the place. You wouldn't have to move any of your stuff or trek across town." He shifted his weight, leaning against the door frame as he continued, "Plus, we could still watch shows together if I open the bedroom door. I can see right to the couch from my bed." He grinned. It was worth a shot and, at least in his mind, wasn't that bad of an idea. He could be away from her but not totally away from her. She would be near and heaven knew quarantining together was a whole hell of a lot more fun than apart.
Jax nodded as she mentioned she had never had time to fall in love. He couldn't relate to that. Before he had even graduated high school he had been in love. Or at least, a kind of love that he had thought was an end-all and be-all love. He wouldn't say that he went around looking for it though, it just seemed to find him. He knew he was one of the lucky ones. "Sorry." And he meant it. He couldn’t imagine what that felt like. To not have someone waiting at home for him. He had gotten a taste of that for eight months and it had almost killed him.
He found himself nodding when the conversation turned to booze. He wasn't entirely sure which bar she was referring to, not that it mattered. Nothing was open anymore. No matter if she had invited him personally out for a drink, there wasn't any downtime for anyone and there surely wasn't anyone lounging casually in a bar throwing a few back. Sure there were a few underground places, but they rarely lasted a night. He had broken up two when he was still on the force. They popped up and got shut down just as quick.
"Yeah, you're not kidding." He replied to her mention of it being an odd time for everyone. She held up the vial of his blood and he smirked, "See any traces of a zombie mutation in there? I have a bet with my roomie." He and Arlo had joked a little about the virus turning everyone into zombies. Of course, that joke had turned a little sour when he had gotten the papers that he had tested positive for the thing.
Jax wondered how Arlo would react to him pretending to be a zombie in the middle of the night. He figured one of two things would happen. One, she would laugh into hysterics until she threw something at him and told him to stop being ridiculous or two, she would throw something at him for being an ass. He made a mental note to wait until he got the results before testing his theory. "Well, thanks for fitting me in. Maybe they'll get you out of these boring rounds quick?"
The question was a normal one, he supposed. But it was one that made him pause. He hadn't actually known Arlo for an incredible amount of time. At least nothing compared to Emma. He and Emma had known each other their whole lives and yet, in many ways, he had never felt what he now had with Arlo. "Actually, only about seven months. We work together. She's in dispatch, I'm on SWAT. But have you ever met someone who just kind of…made you whole?" He knew he should probably stop talking, but Jax had never been the kind of guy who was good with personal boundaries and keeping things to himself. "Like meeting this other part of you that you didn't know was even missing…you know?"
He looked over at her, a little curious to see her reaction. She didn’t have a ring on her finger but she was also working in the medical field. He knew plenty of married cops, doctors, and EMTs that were married but never wore their ring on the job. Especially in fields that were prone to get particularly messy or violent. It just wasn't always practical to wear it.
He gave a small chuckle when she mentioned someone to talk to. "That it does. It's nice having someone who gets it. What about you? You guys should have your own bar with how crazy everyone's having to work. Maybe a little speakeasy behind some surgery wing or something?" He grinned. There used to be a cop-centric bar that consisted mostly of those in the PD department or surrounding profession. The virus closed it down along with all of the others though. He had never thought to wonder if the medical field had something similar.
He nodded when she mentioned the needle prick and he made sure to sit as still as possible for her. He tilted his head up and angled it so he could see her face when she began talking. As she laughed away the too many years to count joke he nodded, "I can understand that. I've lived here most of my life." He thought in silence a moment before continuing the thought. "You know, I never thought this place would be ground zero for anything. Well, maybe drunk and disorderly bookings after a team loses, but nothing like this." It was still hard to fathom their little town being overrun with military, being looked at under a microscope with the eyes of the nation upon them.
Jax watched as she got out all of the pointy things that she'd be needing for his little visit. He didn't particularly care. He didn't mind being poked and prodded with needles. In fact, it was almost a shock that he hadn't ended up with a few tattoos by now. He did, however, wish that he was back at the station with his SWAT buddies for this. He would have paid money to see Williams get his blood drawn again. He and the entire floor of SWAT had a field day making fun of the poor needle-fearing guy.
Jax was relieved when she didn't get offended by what he said and instead made a quip about it. The edges of his mouth pulling up at the corners. "Point taken. I didn't mean to sound like an ass. I appreciate you guys taking the time to do this all over again." He took in a steadying breath, running his hands through his hair before his eyes moved to the clock. Focusing on anything that wasn't meeting another person's gaze.
"It's been a stressful few weeks. I have a roommate and out of the blue I got hit with a letter saying I may have endangered her life." He shook his head, forcing himself to return to the here and now. The woman had probably heard enough sob stories to write a book. He was sure his wasn't anything she hadn't heard before. People were dying every day. At the end of it all, he wasn't any more special than them.
She mentioned that her lack of luck was due to rank and Jax gave a small smile. "How long have you been here? In Lethford I mean." He had never had to deal much with the medical field so she could have been here for her entire life for all he knew. Work kept him busy but also since Emma had past he had fallen into a deep hole that mainly had consisted of himself and darkness. Then Arlo came in. Like a damn ray of sunshine, pulling him out of that dark hole and reminding him life was worth living again.
Jax was thankful that she either hadn't noticed or hadn't cared that the replica of a human body in the corner was missing the heart piece. And that the said piece was more than likely shattered into a few hundred other little pieces. He dryly thought it was a fitting metaphor for his current life situation.
No, she was all business as she walked into the room and he found himself sitting up a little straighter. He knew the type. The kind of person who instantly controlled a room when they walked in. All order and all business with zero room for non-sense. He was in many ways the opposite of that. At least when it came to the everyday kind of stuff. He was the worst about pushing his commander's patience and rules. When it was time to take a shot though, he tended to get in that same frame of mind. That sweet spot where he shut everything out and focused only on doing his job.
He tried to hide the disappointment as she told him she had no idea about when he could be getting results. Jax ran a hand through his hair and only nodded in response. More waiting most likely. Waiting with time that could quite literally be life and death when it came to Arlo. He tried pushing all of those thoughts out the window and instead focus on the task he needed to do.
His mood soured even more however when she couldn't give him an answer on the probability of it being a mistake or not. He knew it wasn't her job to know that, nor was it something she should have even cared about, but his mood was quickly plummeting and he let the words slip before he could catch himself, "Great. Another test and no answers in sight. Awesome." The sarcasm and annoyance was clear in his voice as he did what she asked and rolled his sleeves up.
She asked whether he was right handed and he nodded, "Yep, right handed." He waited for her to give him further orders and while he did, he focused his attention to her. Her badge said ER despite her being in the quarantined rooms and he nodded in reference to it, "Did you pull the short-straw today or something?"
Up and down. Up and down. The model heart falling and rinsing in sync as he juggled the little part. His mind went to Arlo, a place where he was finding he kept returning to more and more often. His entire world seemed to hinge on this appointment going well. He could go back to the force. He could begin to see where he and Arlo's relationship could go. He could actually leave his apartment and grab a coffee in the park. A million little things that he had taken for granted before he had been mandatorily quarantined like a rabid animal.
Jax tossed the heart into the air, misjudging the angle and had to lean back farther than he could, trying to grasp it. The model hit his outreached fingertips and fell behind the bed where Jax was sitting, the sound of pieces scattering filling up the room. Jax made an oops face as he tried to lean back to see the damage. Before he could check it out though, the door opened and a blonde woman came in, asking his name. He cleared his throat, sitting up before nodding, "Yep. That's me." He sat up and nervously tapped his fingers on the table as he waited. He had done this before, but never with this level of importance on the line.
The last time he had gotten the test done he had been eating a slice of pizza and shooting rubber bands at one of his buddies across the room. Now he felt like his entire being was a bundle of nerves just waiting to get this over with. "So when will I hear back from this? I know you guys are busy but it's for the Lethford PD so I wasn't sure if they fast-tracked those or something." He rolled up his sleeves as he waited, his feet tapping nervously now that his hands had something to do. He didn't look up as he continued speaking, his nerves causing the words to keep coming out of his mouth, "Have you had a lot of these cases? I mean, are mistakes common? Not that you guys mess up a lot, but.." He sighed, trying to give a relaxed smile that he was sure looked nothing of the sort, "I'm kind of hoping it was a screw up if I'm being honest with you."
He wished Arlo was here. She had a way of calming him down, of making chaotic things like this manageable. If it was an active shooter he had no problem. Hostages? Day in the park. Small talk with someone about being possibly a walking contagion factory? He'd rather die thanks.
Jax stood in the doorway and he felt like he was in one of those movies where time stands still. He had always rolled his eyes and groaned in annoyance when it happened to characters on the big screen, but here he was. Standing in their doorway, her appearing where he had been just moments ago, holding the letter he had written with tears in her eyes. Tears that he caused and he'd be damned but it actually felt like time stopped.
That the ticking of the clock halted as he held his breath. Was she furious? Was she mad at him for what he wrote? Was she sad about him putting the words on the paper? Changing their dynamic? Was she mad at him for leaving or maybe for returning? His mind screamed that he should leave. That he had done enough damage and he should let her carry on with her life, at least until he could figure things out. He couldn’t though. He couldn't move. He couldn’t make his body do anything but stand there like a heartbroken idiot.
Tears slid down her beautiful face he wanted to die, right there, on the spot for causing them. For bringing this all to her and complicating things so much more than they already had been. She said his name and it felt like a bullet had gone through him. During SWAT training he had been shot with a rubber bullet as training. It was a fairly normal procedure and it usually was performed with equipment on and at a safe distance away so as not to kill or maim anyone. The guy who fired the shot for him, however, had misjudged the timing and shot him as he was turning to check in with their commander before the shot, causing the bullet to strike a very unprotected rib. He had been benched for recovery for three weeks while it healed. He would have gladly taken a whole firing squad instead of hearing the way his name came out of her lips.
Before he could speak she was moving, crossing the distance between them and wrapping her arms around him. The side of his brain that knew better was momentarily shut off as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close to him. It was right, it was just right, that was all he could process as he held her body to his.
He knew he was a selfish asshole for allowing it to happen, but damn him he couldn't let her go. How the hell did he think he could have possibly been alright leaving her? Without her smile or her jokes. He had been living in a delusional dream world because as he buried his face in her hair softly, he knew the truth. And that was the fact that he couldn't separate himself from her.
Then she spoke.
Three little words that caused him to lean from her slightly, only enough to be able to see her face. His lips pulled into a smile before he could stop himself, "I love you too." He gave an almost shocked laugh, his hands moving to her face, his thumb gently wiping the tears from her cheek. "I'm crazy about you." He knew he should focus, but his brain wouldn't allow it.
She loved him too. Jax leaned down, intending to press his lips to hers, but as he got an inch or so away his mind registered the situation and he paused. The tension felt thick enough to kill him but he forced his mouth to say the words, "We still shouldn't be near each other. I … I can't put you in danger."
Jax wasn't normally a nervous guy. There wasn't much in this world that could rattle him. He had always been that way, even when he was kid. It hadn't been a particularly nice trait in school, he had always been bored while his classmates were keyed up, which caused him to act out. In his profession, however, it was a necessary skill. There was no room for nervousness when it came to holding someone's life in your hands. When it came down to you holding crosshairs on someone with only your coolness under pressure to keep things in check.
Sitting on top of the cold, plastic hospital bed, he couldn’t deny that he was as nervous as he had ever been in his entire life. His hands were fidgeting with his phone and then when it was clear that there wasn't anything on there that could take his mind off of where he was, he grabbed the nearest item on the counter near him. Jax tossed the model replica of a heart up and down in the air, catching it and tossing it up again. This needed to go well. This had to go well.
He had been tested months ago and told that he had traces of the virus detected in him, despite never having been sick or having any symptoms. That one letter had gotten him kicked off the forced and singlehandedly had thrown his entire life in a tailspin. His commander had said he'd be re-tested, and that it could have been a mistake, so here he was. Sitting on a bed in the restricted section of the hospital, waiting for his blood to be re-drawn and tested.
His feet tapped nervously as he tossed the plastic parts. Up and down and up and down again. He didn't glance at the clock on the wall. It didn't matter. The hospital was swamped daily, he knew it was going to be a long day. Even if it did go quickly, there wasn't much that he could do outside these walls anyway.
Jax swallowed hard as Arlo nodded, searching his face. He tried to play neutral. He tried not to let her see how much this was ripping him apart. She had always been able to read him, there were days when she knew him better than he knew himself. He couldn't let that happen today though. He knew she'd fight it. He knew she'd risk her own health and safety. He couldn't allow it to happen. Not again.
She asked him to wait for her, her voice imploring him and he pursed his lips, his mouth not wanting to lie to her. He didn't like lying. They had never had to, or at least he had never had to lie with her. There was never a need. She had always accepted him as he was. He hadn't needed to pretend or deny things around her. He cleared his throat, managing a quick nod. Without another word he turned on his heels and left the building.
He walked at a quick pace, but not quite a run. He didn't have the energy, but he knew he had a lot to get done before she came home. Their home. The home that would now be hers. He put his key in the door and opened it, sliding them back into his pockets before shutting the door.
He went to his bedroom, removing two boxes from the top shelf of his closet. One had cash and one had a few of his personal effects. There were pictures of his parents, pictures of friends and Emma. There were also pictures of Arlo, some notes she had scribbled on sticky notes in his lunch bag that he had saved, along with a few certificates and articles saved from work. Small things that he had saved over the course of his twenty-three years of life.
He dumped the contents of the second box into a large backpack. He took the first box and put it on the kitchen table. The last time he had checked, it was a little over two grand. It wasn't much. He kept most of his money in a savings account. But the cash in his closet was for emergencies. If this didn't qualify he didn't know what did. He moved back into the bedroom, sliding his hand under his mattress, pulling out a pistol. He grabbed the ammo from his closet and set it all on the table. Next was his side table, moving to it and digging around until he found the lease information. He was paid up for another three months. He didn't let his mind wander to where he might be in those months coming. The money would help if she hadn't gotten a new roommate by then.
Jax put it on the table, along with the rest of the things he set aside for her. He dug through the kitchen drawers until he found a piece of paper and a pen.
Arlo, The cash on the table is yours. Use it. Keep the pistol near your bed, there's enough ammo to practice shooting it at the department's range. Ask Williams or Garcia on SWAT if you need help. Lease info is here too. If you need anything else, just look through the night stand. That's where I keep the important stuff.
He hesitated. A lump in his throat getting the better of him before he continued to write again. As he forced himself to go on. Made the words go down onto the page without letting his mind think too much on what the repercussions might be.
I'm sorry this happened. I'm sorry about a lot. I'm mostly sorry that I didn't tell you sooner how much I like you. What the hell, how much I think I love you. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me. I don't regret the kiss. I'm sorry if you do. I really wish we had more time and I promise that if I can figure out a way for me to be around you safely, I will be back. I just have to go right now. I have to do this. Practice with the pistol. Get a roommate. I'll call you as soon as I can. - Jax
He looked at the words once and then twice. He then moved to his bedroom, shoving a handful of shirts and pants into the backpack before slipping it over his shoulders. He took one more look around the place. Then he was out the door. Quick steps carrying him far and fast. He was down the hall, his feet moving down the metal stairs as he realized he hadn't grabbed his identification papers. He knew he'd want to have that on him, if something bad happened he'd need it. Or they'd need it to call his next of kin, which was a dead end, but he'd rather save them the trouble.
He made the trek back up the stairs, through the hallway and to their floor. He walked past the rows and rows of doors before coming to theirs. Hers. He was trying not to think about the fact that this was the last time he'd be here. At least, for the foreseeable future. He told himself again that this was for her. That he could man the hell up and do this, for her, he could do this.
He opened the door, stepping inside and walking in two steps before coming to an immediate halt. She was there. Inside their place. A few feet from him, tears pooling in her eyes. He swallowed hard, his voice barely audible, "I'm sorry."
His nickname came from her lips and he closed his eyes, focusing on her. She spoke about already being around him, already being compromised and a part of him wanted to agree. He wanted to pretend that everything would be okay and that maybe she was immune. He wanted to believe that their life wasn't about to be over, but he couldn't. He couldn't risk her life simply because he didn't know what he'd do without her. He couldn't force her to be around something that could potentially kill her because he was being selfish. "Arlo-" His voice wavered on her name, unable to complete the thought.
She looked away and he wanted to move to her. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and have her near him again. He wanted to smell her scent of vanilla and perfume that always called to him as home. He wanted this all to go away. He wanted so many things, but knew it wasn't possible. None of it was possible, at least not until he knew he was clear or that the test was wrong. Not until he knew that he wasn't exposing her anymore.
As his thoughts took a tail-spin he wasn't consciously aware that people were around. He wasn't aware of them having an audience until she spoke again. The words sending a shot of pain into his chest. He missed her too, he'd been lost too. Her voice. He knew he needed to focus on her voice, because if he didn't, his mind was going to keep spinning until it crashed and he couldn't afford that right now. He couldn't let himself go down that path yet. Not while he needed to keep his wits about him and get her safe and away from him.
Jax closed his eyes, wiping the tears roughly off his face. One deep breath in and then another. One small motion to put his body vertical and then another. Standing and talking. He could do this. Jax nodded, grabbing in his back pocket for the mask he always carried. He put it on, forcing the air into his lungs before he trusted his voice to speak, "Okay."
He would go to the apartment. He would do what she asked. He needed to get his things and he needed to leave her the cash and weapons that he kept in their place. He would need to make a call and make sure one of his buddies from the force would look in on her every week. He would get her secure and safe and then he'd go. There was no other way.
"Look, I'll…go and when you get off work we can talk about it then okay?" He hoped she'd agree. If she did, he could get what he needed to get, leave a note and be gone before she got there. He'd hate himself and knew she'd hate him for it, but at least she'd be alive and safe. Better she hate him for leaving than care about him to an early grave.
