OUTBREAK: ZERO is a semi post-apocalyptic pandemic roleplay set in the fictional city of Lethford, USA. Current season: Winter, 20/21.
March 2020. The world is in pandemonium as one month ago, GHNv-20 was confirmed, five months after the beginning of norovirus season. The number of the infected are in the higher hundred thousands, and the death toll is at an estimated 250,000, with about seventy percent of the rest of the population experiencing mild to moderate illnesses connected to the S. pyogenes bacteria.
The fear of the unknown has caused mass hysteria and panic.
In an attempt to provide a semblance of safety and control, military personnel patrol the streets, even here in Lethford City, and the police force is trying to keep up with the rising street violence, assault, and theft.
Welcome to OUTBREAK: zero. Will you survive?
HAYANA
SITE OWNER + HEAD ADMINISTRATOR
Hi! I'm Haya. I'm pretty much your girl for everything! If you have any questions regarding our plot, membergroups, etc. don't hesitate to ask me. I'm also in charge of coding, graphics, anything skin related, and advertising/affiliates.
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ADDI
ADMINISTRATOR
Hey! I'm Addi. Hit me up if you need help with anything. I'm always for plotting so don't be shy. I like coffee, booze, and working out. I'm back from a long hiatus the dead so if you need anything, best ask the others until I get back into the groove of things!
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FINNLEY
GLOBAL MODERATOR
Hi hello! My name is Finnley, or Finn, call whichever and I'll be there for you (yes like the FRIENDS theme song). I am in charge of the claims and helping with miscellaneous things. Let me know if you have any questions!
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outbreak
/ˈaʊtbreɪk/ zero /ˈzɪərəʊ/
a sudden occurrence of something unwelcome, such as war or disease. number, no quantity or number; nought; the figure 0.
She spoke softly and Jax would have traded the world for this not to be their reality. She didn't understand and neither did he. Not really. He was fine, he had been fine. Jax hardly ever got colds, he hadn't taken more than two sick days in the entire time he had been on the force. He always had a strong immune system. Why did his one breach have to be the damn virus that was wiping out half of the globe? What made it worse was that he was a carrier for the thing. For a brief moment he wished it would have taken him out. Then he wouldn't be out there possibly infecting everyone he came into contact with. Possibly endangering the one person who he loved in this entire planet.
He watched the way she moved, tentatively and unsteadily. He wanted more than anything to run to her. To hold her in his arms and stroke her hair, to tell her that it was all going to be okay. He wanted to strike down every problem she had, but this time he was the problem and the solution was for him to get as far away from her as possible.
She began speaking quickly about stocking their apartment and he wiped the wetness from his cheeks, shaking his head. "Arlo…" his words fell away as she then began talking about taking care of him. Like he wasn't a bomb with no kill switch. "Arlo…I'm not putting you at risk. That isn't even an option. They found traces of it in my blood, I won't risk exposing you any more than I already have."
He shook his head, refusing to listen to anything else. He wouldn't…couldn't…put her in risk. "I'll go to the quarantined sector. If I don't have it in a few weeks maybe I can come back, maybe we can…" He couldn't finish the sentence. Even if he did get clearance in a few weeks. He was apparently immune which meant that if he caught it, he would never know. He would always be putting her at risk. He would always be gambling with her life and he couldn't live with himself if he did that. He couldn't go on if by some roll of the dice she did get sick by his hands. He could infect her without knowing at all. She could be taken from him in a blink of an eye, just like Emma.
Emma. The realization dawned on him and he felt the blood drain from his face. His eyes met Arlo's from across the hall. "Emma. What if I was infected then? I could be the reason she's gone. Arlo I could have killed her." He felt the tightness in his chest again. Emma was gone and there was a chance he had caused her death. She might have still been here, her sister might not be grieving her loss, her parent's mourning her death, if it hadn't been for him. No. He would not let Arlo make the same mistake.
The tears hadn’t come yet. That was a shock, but if he put any of the required medical crash-course training to use he would have put two-and-two together and realized that his system was having a panic attack. Instead, however, all he knew was that his chest was tight, his lungs were on fire, and he was a damn carrier. Risk. Threat. The words pinging off one another in his head.
His hands were clenched in fists, white-knuckling from the pressure. He closed his eyes. He knew that if he could pretend he was shooting it might work, it might make him breathe deeper, but the second he closed his eyes all his mind could think about was that he'd never be doing that again. He'd never be doing the only thing he had been good at ever again. More clenching, more tightness.
Then she was there. Like an angel in the night, she had found him. She always found him. Her hand touched his, his senses narrowing down to just her and him. He moved forward instinctively, automatically, pulling her to him. His breath eased as he felt her warm body enveloped by his, in his arms. He smelled her shampoo and put his lips to forehead, finding the first deep breath. Then another. Then his idiot brain clicked again, and the horror and realization of what he had just done slammed into him like a freight truck. He moved from her immediately, shuffling backwards, slipping once and holding his hands up for her to stop where she was. "Oh god. I can't….I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
He moved back from her, put 15 feet between them and stopped, his chest heaving, demanding oxygen. He opened his mouth but nothing came out at first. He didn’t want to say it. If he said it, it was true. If he said it, he couldn't pretend that this was all some big misunderstanding, some joke that he was going to end out on top of and right with.
His eyes were sad, taking in her features, knowing that this probably would be the last time they were going to be near each other. He knew she'd protest that, but he'd be damned before he put her in any risk. He cleared his throat, his eyes finding his own feet as he spoke up.
"A few weeks ago, one of my blood tests for the virus came back with errors. So I had to do them again. They uh….they gave me the results today." He looked up, meeting her eyes, "They think I'm a carrier." The words felt wrong coming out of his lips, "Apparently I had the virus and didn't know it. I'm….I'm immune, at least to the symptoms, but….I'm a risk to everyone else." He felt the stinging come to his eyes, the tears that he tried blinking away to no avail. "The PD took my badge and uh…I'll….I'll probably go to the quarantine sector. I just….."
The tears fell freely and he wiped them away. Goodbye. This was goodbye.
Jax sat at his desk, making his chair spin in circles slowly. His attention was on his phone, a picture of Arlo filling up the screen. A soft smile was on his lips as his feet kicked the floor gently, making the chair go from one side and back to another. He missed her. No, it was more than that. When he was on patrol, when he was scouting, when he was on the ten-million shifts that he took knowing they wouldn't see each other, he missed her then. Now, now after what felt like months of that, it wasn't just missing her. He ached for her.
The distance had been his fault. He took responsibility. Though she had been either too busy to notice or too kind to bring it up to him. He cited work of course, and that wasn't a total lie, he had been busier than he had ever been in his life, but the truth was that he had volunteered for all of the extra shifts. He had been the first to offer to go on assignment or on extra rounds. He had done all he could to put a little space between them because the less he was with her, the more he could justify staying. If he was still with her, but not exactly with her, he could live with himself. He could justify still considering her his. His Arlo.
He had gotten a letter a few weeks ago saying that his virus test had been inconclusive and they had to run more tests on exactly what that meant. He had wanted to tell her then, he had thought about leaving a thousand times, if only to protect her. But his boss assured him that if there was any chance that he was truly infected, it would have been caught and that more than likely it was a lab error. So he had given them more blood for tests and put a plan in place to keep his distance, just to be safe.
The days had turned to weeks and here he was, settling his nerves with a picture of her. He clicked the button on the side of his phone and slid it back into his pocket, hoping for the ten-millionth time that the lab would hurry up and give him the results. He had just stood up and yawned when his boss called him in.
Jax went into the office and when the man asked him to shut the door, Jax gave a forced laugh, "I'm not in trouble am I?" He had looked for any signs of humor in the other man, but had found none. His boss slid a piece of paper to him and Jax picked it up, his eyes scanning over it.
Carrier.
He was a carrier. There were light traces, imprints they called it, of the virus in him. It appeared he was immune, or at least that his body had fought it off before he had even known he was sick, he was just a risk to others. He was a threat. "How long?" he asked, the question leaving his lips in a hushed tone.
His boss shook his head, "They don't know. Jax, I hate to do this, but we have to let you go. We can't have that kind of risk at the department. They said techs are working on your blood results, they said maybe they can see if you might be immune to the disease going forward, but in the meantime, we have to let you go." Fired. Carrier. Threat. The words bounced around his head. Jax felt his world tilt and he grabbed the chair in front of him to steady his legs.
He numbly put his badge and his gun on the desk and all but stumbled out of the office. Threat. Carrier. His throat was dry, he thought for a moment he might vomit, a wave of heat and nausea crashing over him. He forced air into his lungs. His legs carried him away from his floor, down the steps almost blindly, his feet dragging him towards the exit. At least that was where his mind assumed he was going, but he realized he was instead in front of dispatch. His hand hovered over the door, ready to knock on it and ask for her. But he couldn't, he realized with numbing horror. He couldn't involve her in this. He couldn't risk exposing her any more than he already had.
Jax moved back from the door, his body finding a wall to lean his weight into. Jax closed his eyes, willing the panic down.
Jax was silent as he asked her if she wanted to stay in the bed with him. He didn't know what her reaction would be. They had kissed, they had said things that neither could go back on and he wasn't sure what to expect anymore. He couldn't fault her if she left his bed. Hell, he couldn't fault her if she left the apartment for a few days. He couldn't hold any of that against her because in one block of time, before even the sun was up, he had changed everything. Their dynamic and their easy relationship was changed and he knew it was on him. He had said too much, done too much. He held his breath as he waited for her reaction.
Arlo nodded her head gently and Jax exhaled softly. She turned from him, and like they were made to do it, her back nestled against him, her body forming to his. Jax put his arm around her, holding her to him. She was warm and soft and the want to never let her out of his arms again bounced around in his chest. He tried not to care. He tried not to think about the last time he held a woman in his arms. He tried not to think about how he could be ruining a friendship and instead let himself focus on her. The way she felt in his arms, the way she smelled as she was tucked in so near him. He had wanted nothing more than to protect her.
He would have moved hell itself if it had meant keeping her safe. Now, with her safely in his arms, all he could do was think about how thankful he was. Utterly thankful. He couldn't lose her. He didn't want to think about the person he would be if he hadn't found her. He couldn't lose her and he couldn't let her go. No matter how selfish and wrong that might be.
She spoke his nickname and a smile came to his lips, the tension in his chest easing. Maybe she wasn't as ready to bolt as he thought she might be, he thought silently to himself. Though he knew morning would be the real test. When they had to speak and discuss what happened. He spoke softly, "Good night."
He felt her breathing deepen and he was glad she was sleeping. She needed the rest. He closed his eyes but the minutes ticked by into hours and he couldn't fall asleep. He laid in the bed with her until the sounds of the city awakening began to filter through his room. A glance at his wrist showed it was a little after six am and he carefully removed himself from her. He tucked the covers in softly, hoping he wouldn't wake her, before moving to his dresser drawer and grabbing a set of clothes out.
Jax changed quietly and left a note that said he'd be right back before slipping out of the apartment. She was normally the one who took care of breakfast for the two of them, but he figured it was the least he could do, and he was already up anyway. Jax walked a few blocks down to a bakery, relieved that it was actually open. He got an assortment of doughnuts, croissants, and muffins with one black coffee for him, one double shot expresso over milk for her.
He then made his way back to their place, stopping in quickly to pick up their mail on his way up. He balanced everything as he opened the door, putting the bakery goods on the kitchen table. He was about to toss the mail there too when his eyes caught on a letter from the police department. He held onto that one, sitting the others on the table.
Jax pursed his lips as she spoke about the consequences of her actions. He had been there. His first unit mission went wrong, and his team had been sent bad intel. Jax had ended up taking out the wrong man. The guy had been working with the target, and he most assuredly was not one of the good guys. No, the records that the department had on the man were long enough to cover two pages, but he hadn't been the target that day. He hadn't been the one who was supposed to die. Jax hadn't known the mistake until the bodies were brought into the morgue and ID'd. He had spent the entire afternoon with his team being debriefed on the mistake. It had been a simple clerical error and though he wasn't responsible, it didn't take any of the guilt away.
He had asked himself the same questions that she was speaking out loud. He gently touched her cheek and she seemed to still, to quiet. She told him she didn't want to talk about it anymore and he nodded once softly. "At the end of the day, whatever happened, happened for a reason. I'm not saying we're not responsible for the choices that we make, but I do think that everything happens for a reason. And sometimes, that reason isn't for us to understand." It wasn't much and he wasn't even sure if it would help, but it was all he had at the moment. It was a thought that he tried to keep at the forefront of his mind, especially as of lately.
If she hadn't been put in that terrible position, if that man had instead tried taking out SWAT, maybe he wouldn't be here. Maybe, had that man not decided to take the actions that he did, she would have never been put in that situation. Maybe she would have never called to him in a panic, maybe he never would have been struck with the idea that he might lose her and make him see what she meant to him. Maybe if it hadn't happened....he wouldn't find himself with her in his arms right now. It wasn't pretty and if he could go back and change things, he absolutely would, but he couldn't say he wasn't glad in some way that it did happen.
Jax had been honest with her and her finger touched his arm, gently caressing his skin. Jax felt chills run down him as her touch followed his arm down, lightly squeezing his hand. Her tone was every bit as adamant and stern as any of his superior officers and he resisted the urge to tell her yes ma'am. An amused smile came to his lips, "I promise." He moved his arm and did a mock flex, "Gotta keep these guns in top shape Espinoza." He was kidding of course, Jax wasn't one of those frat-guy douchebags who flexed and talked about himself in third person, but he was hoping at the very least it'd get a smile from her.
Then the conversation turned to one that was so real and fraught with emotion that the words had almost been a whisper out of his lips. He was scared, out of his mind kind of scared, but he couldn't stop the words. He couldn't stop himself from saying what he needed her to know, what he was feeling. He wasn't sure if they were right or if they were something that he should keep to himself, but he knew he had to speak them.
So he did. And then he had tilted her head to look up at him. He had glanced into her brown eyes that were so damningly beautiful just a moment before his lips pressed against her. He felt her hand move to his hair, and he breathed in her scent that filled the space around them. Her head arched slightly, allowing him to kiss her more easily and his hand softly moved to her waist. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he should stop doing what he was doing, but he couldn't. He was falling with every second that their lips touched and he didn't care if it was going to hurt in the morning. As she shifted ever so slightly to meet his kiss in return, her shirt shifted and his thumb grazed the bare skin at her waist. An involuntary murmur of pleasure left his lips as electricity seemed to be running through his body. He had lost himself in the moment, but then she had made a groan of pain and pulled back from him and Jax felt like ice water had been poured over him.
"Are you alright? I'm sorry....." His words were halted when she placed her forehead to his, speaking the same words back to him that he had said to her. He felt a pressure fill his chest. It was warm happiness, a satisfaction and pride that she returned his sentiment. There was also, however, guilt. Just a bit of guilt. He closed his eyes, forcing his breathing to steady. He hadn't wanted to push her into the kiss, into deciphering his feelings or feeling pressured into anything with his words. "You need to get some sleep. It's been...a crazy day." His hand slowly moved to her hair, tucking a strand behind her ear. "If you want to roll over, I can hold you..if you want?" He hoped she'd allow it. He hoped she'd roll over and move into his arms. She needed sleep and the morning would give them better clarity to talk about what happened between them. At least, that's what he hoped.
Jax let his eyes silently roam over her face. Her lip was healing, but he could tell the skin was bruising, even in the faint light of his room. Her eyes were slightly red, from crying or being exhausted he didn't know and if he had to guess, he'd warrant his matched hers. "I have some prescription-strength Tylenol in my bedside drawer if you need it." His job all but guaranteed the prescription. He normally didn't have to refill it but a few times a year. He liked to reserve it for when things got a little too crazy on a mission. A fracture here, a broken nose there, just a handful of things that warranted the need for stronger pain relief. He knew there would be a day when he'd need something stronger. You didn't get to grow old in this field without getting some sort of life-altering condition on the way out, but for the time being at least, he was just fine with the Tylenol.
Jax stayed completely still and silent as he listened to her talk about what happened. He felt his chest tighten at her words. Despite knowing that she was alright, despite having her within inches of him, hearing her speak the words made his blood run hot. He wished a thousand times over he could have been there. That maybe if he had been just a few minutes quicker she wouldn't have had to live through the ordeal that she had been forced into. His eyes saught hers, "It doesn't matter. You did what you had to do. You saved lives today Arlo." He couldn't help himself, his hand reached out, utterly gently as his fingers brushed her cheek. "I'm sorry you had to face that alone. If I could do it all over again, I swear I would have been there." He exhaled, chiding himself for getting off-topic. This wasn't about him, this wasn't about his feelings. "You saved so many lives today. You were brave. You are brave and strong and you did what you had to do. For what it's worth, I'm damn proud of you." Sure he was going to demand that she take some self-defense lessons, either with him or someone with the force, but she kicked butt. She handled herself better than any of the other dispatchers, better than some of their own officers.
Arlo asked about him and he watched in amusement as she mimicked him from earlier, her brown eyes moving over his face. A half-grin came to his lips and he knew she wouldn't take some half-answer or brush off. "My shoulder got pretty banged up and I'm afraid to see the bruising around my ankle, but I'm alright. I promise." A perk to doing all the training he had done was that when situations came up like the one they had faced, his body reacted from muscle memory. His chances of pulling or breaking something was decreased, usually.
Then he had spoken. The words coming out of his lips before he could stop them. He didn't let himself watch her reaction. He wasn't sure he could have spoken the words if he had been watching her. One awkward pull of her lips and he would have had to move out immediately from the embarrassment. The only thing that did catch his attention was her voice, softly murmuring about being more than a roommate. He could have kicked himself, "Yeah...I mean...of course. I didn't mean just a roommate. You're...hell you're my best friend. You're...." His mind raced as he struggled to comprehend exactly how to relate to her how much she meant to him. The seconds ticked by and he was still struggling to figure out what to say, and then her lips met his.
The apartment could have been on fire and Jax was almost certain he wouldn't have noticed. Her lips were on his and his brain was struggling to keep up with anything else. As quick as she pressed her lips to his they were gone again and she moved to him, declaring that she would fight to keep herself near him. The emotions were like a tidal wave, threatening to pull him under. He was happy, ridiculously happy, and guilty. He was slightly regretful and also terrified out of his mind. He wanted to press a pause button and step away to sort out what was going through his mind, but didn't have the time.
She was in his arms, her small body fit to his like she was made for him and that damned kiss had both cleared his mind and set off a bomb. He swallowed hard once before speaking, the words barely audible. "You're my best friend. You're the person who can always make me laugh, even when things suck. You're the person who gets me, unlike anyone else I've ever met. You're the first person I want to see when I wake up and the last person I want to see when I go to sleep. You are...it Arlo." Just what it was, he wasn't sure, or maybe he could if he let himself go there, if he forced himself to be brave about it all, but for now he just hoped he was making sense. That his point was coming across. And in case it hadn't yet...
Jax looked down at her, his hand coming up to softly tilt her chin up. He leaned back so he could look into her eyes, her brown eyes that threatened to drown him, his eyes lingered on hers for just a moment before closing, his head leaning down, pressing his lips to hers.
Jax had moved hesitantly at first, his arm slowly going around her body. He had a flashback to how he felt all those years ago in training. Moving slowly, hesitantly, as he practiced diffusing a bomb. There were so many ways this could go wrong. She could slap him, she could yell at him, she could get angry and move out. There were so many terrible ways this could go, but he had to trust his gut on this one. He didn't exactly know why he was holding her, but it just felt right. It felt like something he needed to do. He knew this was stepping into whatever territory lay outside their realm of friendship, but he had to do it.
He had practically been holding his breath as he did it. His skin touching hers. Then, as if by magic, she moved into him. Her body effortlessly formed to his, and he felt as if a weight had been lifted off his chest. She fit against him, her body warm and soft. It felt right to have her so near. It had been a long time since he had held anyone this close, and he had thought those days were going to be gone forever. He couldn't imagine another woman lying in this bed, in his arms. But laying in bed with her so near, it just felt right.
Then the words had come out of his lips. Those three little words that held the weight of the world. Those words hadn't come out of his lips in such a long time. They felt strange, but not wrong. He did love her. He loved the way she knew what he needed, the way she always made him laugh or smile. When everything went to hell, she was the voice that calmed him. When he heard her hesitation, when he heard her screaming, when it became clear that he might not see her again...he felt it. He didn't understand it, but he felt it. He had lost a lot, and he had survived it. He had pushed through that pain and heartache. He had made it out the other end, but when it became clear that he might lose her...he knew he couldn't have survived that. She was it.
He closed his eyes, holding her near him as the words came out of his lips. The darkness remained silent and he didn't bother to figure out if she was sleeping or not. He hadn't said those words to get a response from her. He hadn't said the words because he needed validation. No, he said them because he couldn't keep them in any longer. He couldn't lay there and not tell her how much he cared for her, how whole she made his life. He laid in the darkness until the minutes drifted on, his mind slowly drifting off into sleep.
The feel of movement next to him woke him up. Jax felt her tense, her body jerk sharply. His eyes opened and he looked over to her as she spoke about a bad dream. Jax moved his hand to her, touching her soft curls. The room was mostly dark except a lamp in his far corner, casting a warm, soft glow on her skin. How he had never noticed how beautiful her brown eyes were he wasn't sure. He was still looking into her eyes as she shifted, moving to press her lips to his forehead.
She murmured that she was fine and a soft smile touched his lips, "The future Mrs.Tiger King maybe?" He rolled over so they were facing each other. His hand moved forward, gently touching the spot on her lip where she had been bleeding, "How are you feeling? Anything raising any alarm bells?" He hadn't been there when she had been attacked. He didn't know what kind of hell she had to endure and he hated it. He knew, rationally speaking, that there had been nothing else he could have done, but he didn't know if he'd ever be able to forgive himself.
She touched his chest as she spoke, telling him to go to sleep. He shook his head, "Nah. I'm not tired." She had said she wasn't going to make this a habit and he pursed his lips. His mind told him to let her go. That he should agree with her and just let her leave the room so he wouldn't make any of this even more awkward and uncomfortable, but he couldn't. Yet again, he acted without letting his mind catch up to what he was actually doing.
"I'm glad you're in here." He paused, his mind racing in an effort to make what he wanted to say sound coherent, "I've been doing this job for a long time and I've never been scared. Not even once. But when I heard you scream...." He had to force himself to swallow, the memory of hearing her that scared sending heat course through his body. "I have never felt more scared of anything in my entire life. I know that sounds really weird for a roommate to say, but.." He sighed in defeat, he couldn't lie about it. "I just...can't lose you."
The day had been a long one. He had gotten her home safely, holding her hand the entire time. He didn't know which one of them needed it more and he didn't care to think about it. He just wanted to get her safe. He wanted to get her away from all of the noise and the chaos, the screaming and wreckage that was now scattered around the city. He wanted to get her home so he could keep her safe, so he could physically see her asleep and secure in their home. The pair walked in the door and he nodded when she mentioned she wanted to shower. He had gone to his shower as well. He didn't take long. He didn't want her to be alone, the notion ridiculous but he didn't care. He had gotten clean and got dressed in a handful of minutes, stepping quietly outside of his room.
Jax locked the door and deadbolt, sliding a chair under the knob just in case things got crazy again. He shut off the main light as he listened to the water from the guest bathroom still pouring. He sighed, debating on sticking around outside or not. He wanted to be with her, but he also knew that she had done things today that wouldn't be easy to think about and sometimes space was the best thing for that. He didn't want to pressure her into talking about anything she didn't want to. He checked the handgun he kept secured in his room, glancing once more towards the guest bathroom before going in his room.
The minutes ticked by and her absence made it clear that she wanted space. Something he respected, albeit begrudgingly. Jax turned off the light and slipped into his bed. His body was slowly working the adrenaline out of his system. His ankle had begun throbbing lightly, the same with his shoulder. His mind began running through the events of the day, picking apart what he could have done better. Thinking about how he could have prevented today from happening at all. His thoughts were coming rapidly, refusing to relent to sleep, when a soft knock pulled his attention back to his room.
Jax didn't have time to react before his door opened. He stilled himself, his heart beating quicker in his chest. His first thought was that something was wrong, but she didn't speak. The bed moved softly and Arlo's body slid into the bed next to him, her hand finding his. Jax held her hand, feeling her lips graze his shoulder. He hesitated just a second before turning towards her, his arm going around her, to hold her to him. He didn't press her into him of course, just hold her. Her body was warm, the scent of her body wash or lotion comforting him and he closed his eyes. He laid like that, with her in his arms, for a while, neither saying a word. This was unfamiliar territory and he knew it should scare the hell out of him, but all he could think about was how right it felt.
He thought about how close he had come to losing her. How much she had to do today. What she had to go through. She was his best friend, hands down. She was the one thing holding him together and the idea of losing her wrecked him. The words were on the tip of his tongue. He knew he should probably shut the hell up and let her sleep, but there was too much pressure in his chest. He didn't know if she was sleeping or not, but he had to say something, consequences be damned. He had to get it off his chest. Jax spoke softly, "I love you."
Jax glanced over at the brown-haired girl, an amused grin on his face. He could only imagine the downright professional voice she made herself have when she talked to the idiots over the phone. He made a mental note to sneak down there one day, listen in and make faces as she spoke calm and courteously to the callers. Sure, he imagined she'd probably then chase him out of the room threatening to hit him, but it'd be worth it.
Their eyes met as she began telling him about her favorite call so far. He laughed at the idea, thankful that he didn't have to deal with the bulk of all those crazy people. He didn't know if he could handle being a patrol cop again. His patience was nowhere near what it had been all those years ago when he had started with the force. Back then he was new to the routine and streets, he could handle the idiot call or question. Now though? He didn't know if he could stomach the annoying people without saying a few harsh words.
"People are crazy. One time when I was on patrol we had a guy call us because his girlfriend was shopping and he said that they had been there for two hours and he wanted to leave. She apparently had said no and his bright idea was to call us and I'm quoting here 'make up a reason to escort them out of the store' so he could go home and watch the rest of his football game. When we pointed out that it was not our job to wrangle women out of stores he said...." Jax made a drum-roll sound..."Why not? I pay your salary don't I?" He shook his head, remembering the call. That had been during his first week and he hadn't forgotten it. He doubted he ever would. His partner had handled the situation well and the two had laughed their asses off the entire way back to the station. That had been a good one, but they weren't all that funny. He was glad those days were behind him.
Jax shook his head again when she brought up the widow. He hadn't been there before, but he had heard the stories from the poor souls who had to go there. The woman meant well of course, and most of the guys were good sports about it, but sometimes the calls like that were just too much. It wasn't like things were ever slow enough to constantly be providing some eye candy for an old lady. "That's going to be me when I get old. Not for the eye candy, but I most certainly plan on playing pranks on whatever poor sap is stuck dealing with my hind-end when I'm old." He gave an amusing smile at his little joke. He liked to imagine that version of his future. Faking this or that to get a rise out of people. He had always imagined it with Emma of course, her smacking him for being a pain in the butt. Now he didn't know what the future held, at least he wasn't entirely alone though. The thought of Arlo hanging around, the two of them having wheelchair races down the hall at a retirement home bringing a lopsided grin to his face.
She then had told him he wouldn't even realize that she needed him and he feigned being hurt. "Excuse me? Just because I am a god on the dance floor doesn't mean I would ever ignore you. Can't forget the lowly peasants, after all, who would clap for me?" That one he figured would earn a hit and he was grinning just waiting for it. He let his mind wander just a bit to how much fun she'd be at the bar. Sure he liked dancing, but if that wasn't her thing he didn't mind giving her company at a pool table or dart board.
As for the self-defense lessons, he was more than prepared for that. Jax stopped on the street, gently pulling her arm so she'd look at him, his face serious, "Have you seriously never taken a course before?" He thought dispatch would have made them take some kind of class about it, but in honesty he had no idea. Sure they weren't on the front lines, but hell anything could happen. He didn't like the idea of her not knowing how to handle herself.
Then they were inside and Jax had moved to the window seat. He wasn't sure what she was doing as he had left her. All he could think of were the words spoken from the owner. He should have expected them of course, he and Emma visited this place more times than he could count, but he wasn't ready. He wasn't prepared to face the fallout of all the places they had gone to, all the people who they knew. He wasn't ready for what that all meant yet. Thankfully Arlo returned and he focused on her words, trying to shove out all of the thoughts of Emma. "Yeah, Michaels has a truck, I'm sure he won't mind us borrowing it. Hopefully, he won't tag along, he's got the worst stories and five kids so trust me...all of the stories come with five or more pictures. It's terrible." He grabbed the pizza slice and grinned when he watched her take a bite, a satisfied 'told you' smile on his lips. He folded the cheesy slice and took a bite, happy that she liked the place as much as he did.
"Alright so we went out to arrest this guy and it was super boring of course, he turned himself in right away." He leaned forward, highly invested in telling the story. "But the officer who has him, loses his grip and the guy takes off running out the house so I charged after him and right before he hauls his rear over a fence BAM" Jax clapped his hands together, "Nailed him in the ground. We rolled around a bit but he gave up. Great first day back so far." He sat back in the chair, a satisfied little smile on his lips.
Jax let out a fully belly laugh as Arlo complained about having to listen to someone named Barb. He couldn't imagine the firecracker of a girl next to him sitting quietly, politely nodding along to some story that someone droned on and on about. He supposed she had to play a lot nicer than he did when it came to office politics. At his job, if someone was annoying you, you could flat-out call them out for being annoying and they might retort with a lovely little well screw you in return. That was normal, that was expected. They could take the insults, ribbing, and playful punches. Dispatch tended to be female-dominated though and he doubted they'd take too kindly to the name-calling as the guys upstairs did.
He nodded when she mentioned the calls were easy, but that it only meant they'd get worse as the day grew. That was the damn truth. He could never figure out why everything seemed to happen at once. It was like everyone was wearing an alarm and they all went off at the same time to cause havoc and chaos. "Do you ever miss the good old days where the calls weren't filled with people complaining and tattling on their neighbor for not wearing a mask?" He had been forced to go with a few officers before things hit the fan, instances were people got into altercations because they were refuting the new laws. It didn't matter what the restrictions were or why, there was always someone out there complaining, someone out there refusing to follow the law.
As if she had read his mind earlier, the firecracker went off at the guy who had shoved into him. Jax found himself grinning as he watched her yell at him. She was so tiny and petite, it was funny to watch her go off like a pitt-bull when she was provoked. "Why do I have the feeling that if we go to a bar together you're going to talk some smack and I'm going to have to play bodyguard to you all night?" He grinned, all but able to imagine it. Someone would piss her off and she'd go off on them, he'd have to carry her over his shoulder while she was still threatening the provoker. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Bet he sleeps like a damn baby though." No care. No anxiety. No stressing about other people's feelings. He'd be lying if he said he wouldn't like to know that feeling, at least for a day.
He rolled his eyes playfully when she called him a gentleman. The grin didn't leave his face as he heard the small happy little noise she made when she went inside. He was pleased with himself. It might be something insignificant, but even when the world was going to hell, a little bit of comfort food could make it seem like it was all going to be okay. Then the guy had brought up Emma and his smile had wavered. He looked to Arlo and found her eyes already on his. Neither said a word but he could have sworn she understood, could have sworn that she had read his mind again.
She moved her eyes from his and spoke to the owner, giving him space to breathe as she took up his slack. Jax glanced at the wall, unable to move for the time being. He wasn't sure what the hell kind of look Arlo must have given him but the man didn't apologize, just repeated her order back to her and mentioned it was on the house. He glanced up when she spoke to him, "Yeah, sounds good."
Jax walked to the spot that had a table by the window. The sun wasn't bad and they'd get to watch people as they ate their lunch. He waited for her to return, running his hands through his hair. "So, how much stuff are we going to move from your old place? I've got two buddies on the squad who owe me favors." He didn't mind helping her move. It would be a nice reprieve from dealing with all the things he'd have to pack up of Emmas.
The small tension Jax was feeling in his chest about being late meeting Arlo dissipated when she returned his grin. She asked if he had played in the sandboxes today and he nodded, "Yeah, built a cool sandcastle with a moat and all." He followed her out the doors, the two falling in step together. He jogged down the steps, pointing to the left side of the street. "This place is the best. I'm telling you. It's just up here."
He moved to the sidewalk, pressing the button to engage the crosswalk. He glanced over at her, "Well I'm glad I get you for a little longer. So how was your morning? Heard any crazy calls today?" Jax had stayed off the radio. His team hadn't needed to call into dispatch yet. The two suspects who they had pursued had warrants out and ready for them to pick up. There weren't any calls or clarification that needed to be done. It was easier that way and he had been thankful of course, but on the other hand he was half hoping he'd get to hear her voice on the other end of his radio.
Arlo brushed something off his shoulder, asking about the story behind it and he grinned, "Ah, it's a good one." The button changed and Jax crossed the street with the other pedestrians. For the most part, people seemed to be keeping to the six feet apart rule, but there were a few who didn't bother with it. A guy with earbuds in pushed past him and Arlo, knocking into Jax's shoulder before shuffling past without so much as a 'sorry'. Jax shook his head, an amused grin on his face, "You ever wish you could be like that? Just give zero care about anyone else around you?" He couldn't imagine living like that. How someone could be so self-absorbed. He wasn't the best at reading emotions and picking up on signals but he wasn't as thick as that guy.
Jax walked a block and a half with her before opening the door to a small pizza place, gesturing for her to walk in. "Alright. Now you can't blame me if you get addicted." He followed her in, the familiar smells of basil and pizza dough comforting him. The guy at the counter was the owner and Jax smiled as the man spoke first, 'Jax. Long time no see.' Jax held his hands up, "Sorry man. You know how it is." He held up his badge and the man nodded, 'oh I know, trying to keep this place going is going to be the death of me. Who's this? Don't tell me you and Emma aren't together anymore.'
At the mention of Emma, Jax felt his chest tighten unexpectedly, the words momentarily caught in his throat. The smile wavered and he cleared his throat. "No, uh. She..passed away." The tension in his chest was back, threatening to do him in. He cleared his throat once more, focusing his attention on Arlo, "This..is my friend Arlo. I promised her the best pizza in Lethford so don't let me down."
The morning had started off well. Remarkably well. It had, in fact, started off so great that it had put him in a relatively good mood for his first day back which he hadn't seen coming. He had thought today would be filled with people giving him sympathetic looks and sad little pats on the shoulder. He had worried his boss would put him on bench duty instead of letting him actually do his job. He had feared the worst, but as he walked in after leaving Arlo downstairs, he felt a lightness. It wasn't happiness exactly, he wasn't sure when he would begin to really feel that emotion, but the heaviness that had weighed him down seemed a little lighter. It all seemed a little more possible to bare.
His boss had first told him he needed to take his first few days back easy and just as he feared, that he would be put on desk duty. Jax had made his case though, appealed to the reality of the situation that what he and the department needed most was his feet on the ground. He needed to be doing what he knew how to do, and maybe it was that slight confident nature that Arlo had helped coax back out of him, maybe it was the reality of the situation, hell maybe it was pity. Whatever it was, Jax found himself back on duty and that was all that mattered to the blonde.
His first case had him back outdoors and with his team, responding to an arrest warrant. The guy had been notoriously violent and the SWAT team had been called in to help the local force bring the guy in. The operation had gone smoothly until the guy had managed to escape from the lead officer's grip and hauled butt through the house and out the door. Jax had pursued and when he tackled the suspect to the ground, handling him with ease and sliding cuffs on him, Jax found himself smiling again. He had two more operations after that, and it was in those moments where he felt like the old him again. In those moments where he wasn't thinking, he wasn't remembering, he was just acting and reacting.
The time had ticked by and his last assignment had gone on longer than he had thought it would. He found himself hustling down the hallway, sliding his badge into the machine to clock out, and practically running out the doors. He jogged down the steps that led to the entryway where he had promised to meet Arlo. He felt his phone vibrate but he didn't check it, closing the distance to the bottom level. He pushed the doors open, putting his badge in his mouth so he could slide his jacket on. A grin broke out on his face when he saw Arlo. Jax slid the ID card back in his pocket and grinned, "Sorry I'm late. Hell of a first day back."
He ran his hands through his hair, knocking dirt and debris from it. He hadn't checked a mirror before leaving and he momentarily wondered if he had dirt all over him. The subject hadn't been too much to handle, but he had tackled him pretty hard into the ground. "You hungry?"
At the idea of women looking at him like he was meat, he laughed. He hadn't noticed that, ever. Not even before Emma. Sure he would flirt when he wanted to, but he never noticed it if it came from the opposite sex back at him. Emma had told him time and time again before, 'she's flirting with you' but had never believed her. He didn't think he was a bad looking guy, but he liked to make people laugh. He liked to ease tension. He didn't think much of it if girls were 'extra' smiley when he was around or touched a shoulder here or there. He might be a little naive in that department, but it had worked in his favor in the past. Not that he would have ever acted upon any flirting with a girl while he was with Emma. He was loyal, loyal to the absolute end.
Arlo playfully shoved him and he smirked. When she made the comment about aliens he laughed, "Hey, there are worst role models. There's a whole family of Kardashians out there. This dude is all about being your most natural and honest self. I mean, sure there's attempted murder but who among us hasn't had that thought before?" He gave her a 'tell me I'm wrong' look. It was rare for him to be in that kind of angry mood, but it had happened before. Weapons not properly cleaned and stored away, his boss demanding more thorough paperwork. Sure, there had been that fleeting moment of 'I'm going to kill you' flash through his mind.
When Arlo took his comment and made it, well a sword comment he found himself unsuccessfully hiding back laughter. "Ma'am yes ma'am." was all he could utter. As his ribs began hurting from the laughter he felt an overwhelming sad feeling of Emma never getting the chance to meet her. He allowed himself to imagine for a moment the three of them together, he could all but hear Emma say something along the lines of 'oh god, there's two of them'. He could imagine the movie nights, the awkward double dating, the game nights. All of the ways that could have made life during this terrible time somehow less stressful. But then again, he had been with the force for years and had never met Arlo. Maybe things did happen for a reason sometimes.
He walked through the doors of the precinct with her and nodded when she said they'd meet here. "Yeah, sounds good." He handed the coffee cups back over to her, giving her a small grin, "Have a good one, and go give Jeffrey a kick in the rear from me." He gave her a wink and the tips of his fingers touched his forehead as he gave her a loose salute. Jax sipped his coffee, walking through the hallway towards the elevators. Today, it seemed, was going better than he could have hoped.
“Just don’t you complain to me when I have to wake you up for a call cause everyone else is busy.”
Jax smirked, "There's a bigger chance for you to be complaining about me. You know with all my free time I'm going to be hanging out in dispatch now." He doubted that he'd actually have a lot of free time of course. While he might not be doing a lot of the work that was fit into his 'job description' that didn't mean the department was going to let him lounge about all day. He dreaded the idea of what job they might stick him with. The idea of doing patrols didn't bother him. He had done them when he first joined the department and he had enjoyed it. There was always something new to do. Some new people to meet, something going on. No, he didn't mind doing patrols. Sitting behind a desk though? No thank you. The idea of having to update files or clean something was enough to make him want to run away. At least now if he was assigned something meaningless he could come talk to her.
He watched her throw her head back in a laugh and he grinned in turn. When she mentioned Trinity wasn't her keeper, Jax held his hands up in surrender, "Alright, alright. point taken Beyonce." He was curious about Trinity now. She obviously had to be pretty cool to be around Arlo of course so he wasn't worried about that. He mentally ran through a list of people at the station who he could tell about Arlo. There weren't too many he'd actually want to share that information with. He wasn't a recluse or private, but he didn't have that best friend out there like she did. That fact hadn't bothered him before, to have a friend outside of Emma. She had been all he had needed, and that had served him well...until it wasn't an option anymore.
His little grin turned into a big one when she actually quoted Pulp Fiction to him. Not just with one quote, but two. He was having a hard time not cracking up when she was near. He liked to think he could make people laugh, but he had nothing on her. She was a certain special kind of person. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go home and have a heart attack." Emma had one time jokingly said she was going to get him a wallet for his birthday with 'bad mother-' on it. It was definitely one up there on his favorites list of movies to watch and re-watch.
He shook his head when she downplayed Tiger King. "Nope. I'm sticking with my stance. One day kids will open up history books and there's going to be a paragraph of doom and gloom but then...rising up out of the ashes will be a gay, redneck tiger owner that saved us all." He did a fist pump in the air. "Just you wait and see. It's an institution I'm telling you." While the show wasn't Oscar worthy by any means, it was pure ridiculousness. It had just the right amount of psychotic to make you feel really good about your choices in life. In his humble opinion, it was the perfect thing to watch when life felt a little too hard.
He had prepared himself for her to hit him when he brought up the many creepy crawly things that one could find camping. While she hadn't hit him, she made it very clear that she was going to have none of it. "Fine I solemnly swear to kill all the spiders. But sir? Sir Jax? Does that make me a knight? Do I get to whack people with a sword?" He let his mind wander at the prospect of whacking people with a sword. He wasn't ashamed to admit he could already come up with a few names of people who'd be near the top.
Her words pulled him out of his little daydream though as she spoke softer, thanking him. He shrugged, one side of his lips pulling in a soft smile, "Nah, I didn't do anything. You're the one saving me here, I promise." He met her eyes, hoping she understood that he meant it. He didn't know what he'd be doing right now if it hadn't been for her. He surely wouldn't have been laughing that was certain. He pulled his gaze from her and walked up the stairs of the precinct, holding the door open for her, "Ladies first."
Jax shook his head as she mentioned his rough hours. "Nah. It's not bad at all. We sleep in shifts at the precinct, and between the random need to use us it's just training and paperwork." He shrugged. It sounded a lot worse than what it actually was. He had heard the firefighter guys did shift similar to theirs, though he had never cared to ask. Normally he'd be in twelve to fourteen-hour shifts, but when the virus got on the scene they took the crew to 24. He didn't care, it hadn't made a difference to him.
He was glad she agreed to the pizza. He loved the place, but the seating was always kind of weird. The last two times he had gone their alone he had ended up literally alone in a corner and that had done nothing to help his anxiety. At least if he had another person with him they could pass the time by talking instead of being shunned like a weirdo. When she brought up Trinity he nodded again, "Yeah of course. I'd like to meet her. Formally introduce myself and whatnot so she doesn't think you're shacking up with a stranger." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively in jest. He didn't think Trinity would have a problem with him. He didn't think she'd actually met him before at all.
Jax nodded, his face grinning, "Ah right, the forks thing was the mermaid. Can't say I'm a Disney expert but hey, I can quote pulp fiction word for word which is much cooler obviously." When she threatened to take his voice he held his hands up in mock surrender, "Fine but you're gonna sound weird as hell if you start talking with my voice." He smirked, turning his head up to make the lock of hair that was threatening to fall into his face move. He hadn't bothered with his hair this morning, hadn't cared. Now he was wondering just how disheveled it looked.
When Arlo groaned and said she hadn't seen Tiger King yet Jax's face lit up. "What??!" He grinned and looked up at the sky, "Oh thank you for this opportunity." He listened as she said she hadn't given in yet. "Oh man, this is going to be great. I decree it as the very first thing we must watch together. You're going to love it." The words came out and he paused a moment before grinning again, "Well actually you'll probably hate it but you have to watch. It's a national treasure." He was ridiculously excited to her reaction to the wild and insane documentary.
That happy giddiness only continued when he watched the absolute shock and horror that was her expression when he brought up camping. Jax was a little surprised to note that the corners of his mouth were sore from grinning so much. He wouldn't actually persist in trying to goad her into camping but this was too much fun to just drop. "I'm just kidding. Bears aren't anything to worry about. Now snakes...they're the real thing you need to be on the lookout for. Well, those and spiders of course." He prepared himself for the hit to his side he was sure she was probably going to give him.
He listened to her reasoning for the apocalypse and had to agree she made some pretty good points. He always imagined he'd have to raid some grocery store or something to survive but travelling with a personal chef sounded like a much better option. When she mentioned learning long shots he looked over, "No worries there. I could teach you anything you needed to know and I wouldn't say that...you haven't seen how much I can eat." That part was all true. Jax loved to train and training made you burn some serious calories. He was constantly either eating food or thinking about food.
When she mentioned keeping their place stocked he liked the sound of it. Not just the booze and baked goods of course, but the reality that he had found someone pretty kickass to share his place with. A girl who actually seemed to understand him and who didn't pry and cry. He was grateful. "Alcohol and baked goods...our place is going to be the hottest spot in town."
